You Don’t Need A Guru. YOU Are Your Best Guide.

The very concept of this article can lead me to shooting myself in the foot. I’m a Yoga teacher. And writer. Naturally, my hope is students and readers will resonate with me, and want to stay connected into the foreseeable future. And while I feel my words and actions may be worthy of following, I in no way see my philosophy as the be all, end all, to be followed mercilessly, strictly, to the fucking T!

So, yes, I say and write fuck. Often. My apologies. What I’ve found through years of self doubt, anxiety, and unease over the unknown, is the truth that no other path should resemble my own. No other human being’s moral code and life philosophy should be a mirror image of mine. Why would I want to copy when I have a heart and mind intelligent enough to decipher through the bullshit and keep the good shit?

That’s precisely what I tell my students, take whatever I say that resonates and throw the rest away. Needing someone to follow me and believe so strongly in my personal philosophy is simply my ego’s desire, a fool’s errand. What I and many fantastic teachers and leaders around the globe can do is help you hone your intuition more, challenge you to tune in and listen to the quiet intelligence within.

There’s an obscene amount of noise out there. Have you noticed? There are books, studies, articles, and oodles of research to support pretty much any theory imaginable. Should we adopt a vegetarian diet? Veganism? Gluten free? Paleo? There are mountains of data to support all of these options. Mountains! No one knows what it’s like to fuel your body. Consult a doctor, sure, experts you respect and admire, but mostly, tune in, feel, experience, learn, and you will make the smartest decision for yourself.

Within the Yoga community there are a thousand schools of thought on everything from how often you should practice, exactly what type of yoga you should take, who you should study with, what you should wear, what you should eat before and after, how to properly align in foundational poses, whether you should practice in the heat or not, etc.

It’s a headache. Many teachers I respect have adopted philosophies and strategies that differ greatly from mine. Who cares? I still learn a hell of a lot from them. I take what resonates and I throw away the rest.

Putting it bluntly, those who tell you with black and white certainty you HAVE to do something or you can NEVER do something else, are know-it-all jerks. Who likes being brow beat into an opinion anyway? But what we get inundated with these days are clever sharks disguised as sweethearts. We pay thousands of dollars and walk on hot coals, for what? Something we could have gleaned from 30-45 minutes of reading on our own.

This is not to say you should start diagnosing yourself, prescribing your own remedies, taking care of your own legal work, practicing Yoga however the fuck you want, adopting your own financial and tax philosophies, eating McDonald’s because it just “feels right,” etc. Spend time with people you admire, allow the expertise of others (like me, I’m awesome, and so are you!) to fill you with more knowledge, insight, and joy, but at the end of the day, you are your own guru!

There is no need to “worship” and cling to every word and move someone you admire makes. Appreciate them, respect them, get inspired by them, support them (yes, we need support!), but merely spend more time plowing the fields of your unique existence rather than following someone else’s. Find teachers and mentors that foster more love and interest in who you are, allow them to spark your creative juices without actually being your creative outlet.

It’s not about dismissing or dissing another, quite the contrary. The more love you feel for yourself, the more you hold for others. They go hand in hand. So rather than belonging to an exclusive club or buying into some niche way of thinking, you understand the inherent truth that opinions and philosophies are like assholes: everybody’s got em. You can respect the paths of others while choosing kindly to walk your own. And you deserve just that, do you not?

We live once. Be your weird ass self.

Nut Up or Shut Up: A Non-Poem About Living, Now

Desire, need, desperation to win, achieve or prove something to ourselves or others will drain us of our innate power.An energetic and intense focus on mastering this moment and trusting the future will unfold well will manifest as an invigorating existence void of mind-made stress and anxiety. If we realized what was actually, truly, genuinely important we’d start grabbing life by the balls and living it, with vigor, instead of letting our minds and egos keep us passively avoiding death, creating enemies where they do not exist, trapped each day in the psychological past and future, rather than the psychedelic beauty that is the present fucking moment. Being alive is a gift. It is intrinsically (awe)some and our past does not have to define us, imprison us or hold us captive in the myth of time. Defining ourselves by words and thoughts alone imprisons our imagination and potential in an ever narrowing tunnel whose light diminishes exponentially the more staunchly we adhere to these descriptors. We are not our past, our age, our socioeconomic class, our political affiliation, our nationality, our bank statement, our marriage license, our job title, our perceived reputation, our diploma, our ethnicity, our opinions or our engrained moral ideology. We are life meant to be lived, realized, awakened, aware, enthusiastic, joyful, impassioned, fortunate beings. We get to be humans here and now. These short years aren’t meant to be wasted feeling inferior or superior, successful or inadequate, attractive or unattractive. Whether physical or mental, we should stop wasting our lives in hatred of what is, of what we cannot change, in us or in others. We owe it to our individual mind, body and heart to get over ourselves (our egos) and our preconditioned habits and beliefs, and bring acceptance, passion and exuberance into getting the most out of each moment and each day. This isn’t confined to a specific set of rules or way of life. We can and should pursue any myriad of career paths with gusto, enjoy the fruits of our labor, work within our own moral and ethical parameters, be cool with people and don’t take melodrama seriously. Enjoy the ride, be fluid and in the flow of life instead of awkwardly rigid, working tirelessly to avoid trouble that only exists in the meaningless anxiety created by excessive thinking. This reality is about taking responsibility and control of how we approach day-to-day life, how we perceive information and the events that encompass our days, and what our lingering effect is after the day is done. How did this approach to life affect us and those around us? When we daydream of our future success how does life look during the years committed to achieving those goals and rewards? Are they riddled with what-ifs, major sacrifices, stress and a fixation with attaining the next promotion, raise, notoriety or form of success that lies outside of ourselves? More simply stated, will our level of daily enjoyment and happiness be affected for many years if we follow these rules and steps? What constitutes each rung of this metaphorical ladder? Can we enjoy wherever we currently are in our careers, whatever level of expertise or income, and allow the external forms of success to be a bonus but not the reason for our personal contentment or self-esteem? That is the key to looking back at our lives knowing we truly lived it. We didn’t sweat ridiculous nonsense, define ourselves by other's expectations or material acquisition. We breathed with reverence each day and used that grateful, inspired energy to execute our lives at a higher, more alertly present level. We navigated both calm and troubled waters with patience, humility and grace. And hopefully a sense of humor. This may seem very cerebral, intense and complex, but it is not. Let's drop the bullshit, own up to our thoughts, words and actions. Let others be and don’t hesitate or doubt being ourselves. Nut up or shut up. Live and let live. Go take an embarrassingly large bite out of life.

Are You a Stage-5 Clinger or a Day Dreamer?

The past is valuable because you learn. The stove is hot. Next time, I will not touch it as I will burn myself, as I just did. See, what a beautiful lesson the past has now taught us, and guess what? I haven’t burnt myself on the stove for a while; so yeah, feeling good. Learning to surrender the emotional scars, learning from your own mistakes while not dwelling in guilt and self-punishment, now that’s another story. All I can say is when we are trapped in the past, we repeat the past, over and over again ad nauseam. It’s not cute. Nor is it helpful or enlightening. It’s repetitive and banal until it becomes predictable and damaging. I look back on the men I used to be drawn to, or the one I let myself fall effortlessly into the void too many times, and I smirk and roll my eyes. What a dumbass. But you see? It’s just that kind of internal rhetoric that does not serve me NOW, the only fucking reality there ever is. At one point, I became fed up with my own patterns and I (with the support and encouragement of my mom and friends of course, an important tool) yanked myself out of it and truly moved on. That was just men. One sliver of what’s turning out to be a delicious savory sweet pie. Now I struggle with self-doubt, less now that I’ve pursued teaching and writing truthfully with commitment, but I’ve been absorbing courage from some pretty incredible friends and colleagues, who live wildly open, naked, raw, and while I find it important to be that friend for others, who cheers them on, supports their expression and is proud of their ballsiness, I need to turn that good friend in me and direct it inward, because no one will get me to do anything but me, the good me that says I’m worthy just as others are, that just because there are streams of talent and beauty being showcased there is no necessity for comparison. Expression is expression and regardless if I blow people away, the release of letting something out nourishes me beyond what any purchase, drug or fear could placate. The bad me says it’s self-indulgent, attention seeking and nothing life-changing so why bother? Because I wouldn’t let some asshole tell me I’m worthless and shitty so why would I tell that to myself? It’s astonishing how much we can get in our own way, basically because we’re choosing fear over love. Think about the decisions you’ve made, big and small, day-to-day in how you engage with others to getting up on that dance floor or making that big speech, falling in love, reaching out when in need, whatever those triggers are for you. How often have you stopped yourself from speaking, acting, crying, believing, loving? We can change this. Patience, practice and presence.

So I’d say my fears and my sense of time, derived by my complex mind, have allowed me to slowly evolve and learn, but I’ve managed to keep some childhood patterns, the one where I won’t try something unless I know I’ll be good at it (WTF is that?! What arrogant asshole assumes they’ll be good at everything? Clearly everything worth doing is challenging. I’m learning.), meaning I must show potential in this or why am I here? The answer is growth. That’s why I’m here and while I feel it’s helpful and important to follow your strengths so you can give whatever gift is inside outwardly, we mustn't shy away from attempting things that scare us because of some hypothetical bullshit, scaredy cat attitude, where we project potential scenarios into the future, predicting embarrassment and ridicule, instead of reality where human beings are kind and supportive and appreciate vulnerability and someone’s willingness to fall down and get back up.

So the past is repeated and the future is rehearsed. Boy was I a dreamer as a child. I’m pretty sure I had insomnia. I was fine, healthy, functioned adequately, but I did spend many nights awake just pondering, wondering, dreaming, and while that’s fun and imagination should certainly be fostered, I fell into a pattern (conditioned by my past) to focus my attention and enthusiasm at achievements or events arriving at a later day. So, I predicated my happiness on something happening down the line. I’d make myself sick from excitement or stress (one might call this anxiety) and I look back at periods of my life as if they’re a blur, because I spent so much of that time trapped in my mind, reliving the past, anticipating the future. I’m starting to sound like a broken record to my yoga students because I mention this often, but everything I’ve learned and gathered in my life thus far, has led me to this truth. This may be the only thing I know for sure. Happiness exists, joy animates, enthusiasm projects, and acceptance takes residence in this very moment, this fraction of a second, Now, and nowhere else. It’s not over there, it’s not marked on your calendar, it’s not within another human being or animal, not at your apartment, or your workspace, not when you can practice your hobby, or have that drink or puff. It’s not when you graduate, when you get the promotion or raise, that new car, new bag, new stuff, new look, new friend, new romance, or the next new magical gift that will then turn the light inside you ON. It’s right fucking here, right fucking now. Surrender to that, and your outward expression and experience in this measly little lifetime we’re given will become so vast and spacious, you’ll be overwhelmed. You may enjoy the aforementioned things, derive pleasure, but these are merely bonuses, facets to a rich existence, but not the path to long-term contentment or internal success.

I still find myself questioning decisions I’ve made or will make. I find myself disheartened and perplexed by human beings constantly, those I have to deal with on a consistent basis, and while I have days where I just feel like shit, I feel low, I feel like no one gives a fuck, I’m able to pull myself out of that mind-induced slump quicker, knowing that I give a fuck and there is a short list of quality human beings and a few animals who care too. This world is consuming, moving rapidly but progressing slowly, and it’s imperative that your personal sense of time and your stage in this evolutionary process is completely removed from the world’s time, clock time, psychological time. Use the past as a tool to remind yourself you’ve repeated a pattern, get to know your inner monologue and adjust it to uplift yourself. Use the future as fuel to fire up the present, because the better you are in THIS moment, imagine the result in the next. Use time as a tool, not a crutch. Surrender the unknown, what you cannot control and what you cannot change and bring more vibrancy to learning, using what you do know, regulate what you can from within and let it bleed out.

Surrendering attachment, truly letting go is a gradual, inside out process. Giving up caffeine or cigarettes will only eliminate a fraction of the problem, until our lingering resentment and soured expectations conjure up a new vice to diminish the negative web our minds are spinning. Sure we need to let go of the past, forgive ourselves and others, recognize what’s done is done, the bell can never be un-rung, but the real strength is in surrendering each moment, accepting yourself and your extenuating circumstances AS THEY ARE, not as they could have been or how they should be or how you hope they’ll be, but accepting responsibility to control your reactions, your perceptions and ultimately your attachment to whatever IS. Eckhart Tolle, Joseph Campbell and many brilliant Yogis and philosophers explain and personify this beautifully. It’s beyond even the most beautifully written words. It is a truth you must infuse into your way of living and being. It’s not to be labeled. It’s not a noun, verb or adverb. It just Is. You just Are.

Can you continue to blossom as the external dares you to shrink? Can you give yourself warmth and light from the very essence you are when the thunderous darkness of your ego and it’s stubborn attachment to the unimportant aim to envelop you, leaving you cold and confused, even more steeped in fear, feeling even more alone. You can start very easily by accepting your mind and body as it is right now, there’s nothing you can do in this moment to change it or manipulate it so you somehow perceive it positively. Let go of comparison, of judgment, of expectation and just embrace yourself and the Now. Notice even within a challenging task how surrender feels. The more you fidget, grimace, or clench (physically and mentally), the more difficult and frustrating it will be. What you resist persists. It is difficult because our minds are cunning, clever little bastards and they seek to retell the same boring sob story over and over again. Just begin by bringing awareness to whatever your patterns are, wherever your tendency toward control manifests and through that awareness, a space will open up for wisdom, kindness, acceptance and release. Let go.

You deserve the most vibrant life a human can live. Believe it and Be it. Turn ON the light the only way possible, yourself, without worry for other’s brightness, your genuine example of acceptance and enthusiasm for this moment is bound to rub off positively on someone. And if not, you’ve got You and that’s one hell of an accomplishment. Those of us working to find more presence and light within can serve others by bouncing off ideas, giving support, and when in doubt, thinking and acting out of compassion. I am merely a work in progress, but I’m sincerely jazzed and buzzing from the challenge that is living a remarkable life, aiming to brighten my and someone else’s day and find that more darkness has faded away.

No matter the weather, no matter your upbringing, your socio-economic status, your religious or political affiliations, your sexual preferences, your grade point average, your color, your size, your current job or your dream job, your perceived status or reputation, the details of your past or projections for the future, You can choose to turn on that light, operate from your best essence and surrender to what is, to embrace here and now, proactively choose Love instead of reactively choosing fear. Surrender is under-valued and connotes images of a white flag and of loss. Bullshit. It takes strength to let go. You're a bright shiny winner.

You ARE Life. Stop wasting your energy and Live.

A Dynamic Education: My Stroke of Insight

I’ve yet to write about the written word. Odd. I love to read and do so frequently, but the experience gleaned from reading a book is usually so personal, so rich in depth and detail that it’s difficult to truly discuss or recommend with anything but a skewed perspective. I suppose everything I’ve shared has been from my own opinions and experiences but I choose to extract my own lesson and then express it in hopes it’ll snowball with positivity. Much of my favorite philosophical material makes its way into my writing and my yoga classes but to summarize the inspiration packed into a good book feels daunting. Kudos to those of you who can and do that brilliantly. I respectfully ask for your open-mindedness as I sum up and recommend a beautiful book I read recently, one that carries within truths I’ve learned from other sources, but so precisely and exquisitely provides useful information and such wise insight that I must encourage you to read it yourself. This book is My Stroke of Insight by Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor. I love novels, imagination, stories, but I’m drawn to varying perceptions and expressions of reality, of truth. I suppose that’s why I studied psychology and why I pursue other artful sciences, because they live almost permanently in the gray. I like the back and forth, the theoretical tennis it involves, the minds you encounter and discover and the lessons you learn about yourself and life. I love to think and I love to laugh. I read mostly autobiographies, memoirs, satire and philosophy. This is predominantly, not entirely. I will read almost anything, this just seems to be my tendency. My Stroke of Insight is at once a stunning true story told from the author’s perspective and also a meaningful lesson on both the duality and the ambiguity of the human existence. It’s 200 pages of fascinating information, beautiful insight and impassioned story-telling. I can’t wait to re-read it.

Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor was a brain scientist, a career she pursued after growing up with a brother afflicted with schizophrenia, a tragic neurological disorder widely misunderstood in the medical community, whose sufferers more often than not take their own lives. In between hours of neuro-chemical research, Jill traveled the country on behalf of the Harvard Brain Bank, encouraging others through enthusiastic speeches and catchy jingles to donate their brains to science (once deceased of course, not as some sort of sacrifice, just to be clear). There were very few as educated or as passionate as Dr. Taylor was about the human brain and it’s functioning. Her story took an astonishing turn when she suffered from a massive stroke in the left hemisphere of her brain on December 10th, 1996. My Stroke of Insight follows her experience from the morning of the stroke, her post-stroke experience in and out of the hospital, and her arduous, 8 year recovery back to a fully functioning and even better human being.

As many of you may know, we have two hemispheres in our very complicated brains. Each side is responsible for various functions and both work together to create a singular reality rather than a confusing duality. I, personally, have always been envious of left-handed people. Sounds ridiculous I’m sure, but I learned at a young age that left-handedness often leads to some gnarly artistic expression, a unique experience in day-to-day life and all around more balanced human beings. There is scientific research to support that left-handed people tend to have strengths on both sides of the brain and tend to grasp bigger picture lessons even easier than most. There are exceptions to every rule and we certainly should factor in one’s environment but if you just take a poll of famous artists, a strong number of them are left-handed and I don’t believe that’s an accident. I think their dominant right brain had something to do with it. The lesson this book taught me is I have every capacity to tap into my right brain regardless of my left brain’s desire to dominate. I can certainly carve out the details of my life to support a more balanced functioning, a life where I take advantage of the positives provided by each hemisphere. It helped me to stop assuming I wasn’t an artist because I’m so clearly linguistic, mathematic, sporty and analytical. I can choose to pursue the other side and level myself out to live a full life.

Jill hemorrhaged into her left hemisphere, specifically the areas processing language, that includes both the spoken and written word. She heard people speaking and her brain processed it as if a dog was barking. The left side is also where we carry our mathematic understanding (those of you who struggle with math can feel proud that you are probably more right-brained, you are not lesser than in any way, despite what traditional public schools lead some to believe, it’s simply a matter of brain chemistry and how your unique brain processes information. fascinating!), spacial concepts, athletic tendencies and a sense of time, linear sequences allow you to make sense out of what happened before and therefore what may happen next. Something as simple as knowing to put your socks on before your shoes is lost when your left hemisphere is impaired. Incredible. Your left brain also houses your inner (sometimes outer) monologue, your incessant stream of thoughts, judgments and analysis. This voice can either help or hinder you. I feel often it simply takes over and rather than us voluntarily thinking, thinking just happens to us, similar to our hearts pumping and our lungs drawing in and releasing air. One of the life-changing lessons I’ve learned from this book and from another favorite, Eckhart Tolle, is we are in charge. I can positively affect the rate of my heart beat, the quality of my breath and content circulating in my mind. And they’re all connected.

Now, as painful and difficult as it was for Jill to essentially lose who she was, the knowledge and memories she’d gained, and to be tasked with re-learning basic human functions, motor skills, language, math, time; it was equally if not beyond cathartic for her to experience life all right, entirely out of the right hemisphere that is. Our right brains don’t see ourselves as solid, independent beings separate from the rest of life. Instead, the right hemisphere recognizes the universal truth, we are all One, alive in the only “time” there ever is, Now. While Jill laid relatively motionless in her hospital bed, confused and in pain, she also felt a supreme light within her, she felt as if her body and mind was fluid, no beginning or end, at One with everything around her. Instead of processing the words people were speaking to her, she could only perceive their attitudes, their energy, their sense of presence in her company. That’s why during her recovery, she responded best to those who treated her like a fellow sentient being, not someone who was broken with irreparable damage, but someone who was new and perfectly capable of making a full recovery. She needed patience, kindness and belief.

We learn in school that 93% of communication is non-verbal (that was the figure when I was in school, it may vary a percentage point or two now). That’s why many of us are sensitive to tone, facial expression and body language over simple words. I’m fairly sensitive to those who come across disingenuous. I’d almost rather you be slightly negative in my presence than fake, because insincerity and role-playing have become a normal way to function in our society and although respect and manners are important, honest and authentic exchanges foster more positivity and growth than acting our way through life. The reason I’ve developed more and more happiness and substantive relationships is partially due to luck and partially because I became fed up with my left brain, the judgmental mind chatter and the pursuit of society and what I felt were other’s definitions of a full life. It is no surprise to me that the majority of people I choose to surround myself with these days operate out of a very right-brained mentality. They’re compassionate, understanding, funny and loving people. Left brainers have that potential too. I’m a left brainer and I’m striving for balance.

I learned in My Stroke of Insight the value of each hemisphere. My left brain dominance has allowed me to rarely be late, to remember every single important date imaginable and to pick up languages fairly easily. I have a decent memory and keen hand-eye coordination. I also have atrocious hand-writing, cannot draw or paint to save my life and I can be pretty stubborn about certain beliefs. I’ve found it valuable through reading and learning to pinpoint my strengths and also my weaknesses. I love being surprised by someone who initially rubbed me the wrong way. I care much less about the outcome of sports games than I used to, focusing now on the enjoyment of watching or playing, or simply choosing other hobbies instead. My mind is much more open and pliable now. My religion is Love, my political beliefs are a hodge podge of values stemming from key issues and align with no particular party or person (It is my goal to feel less and less discouraged by the insincerity and greed in our government, it’s a work in progress), and I’ve been fortunate enough to use my athletic sensibilities with creativity and philosophy as I teach yoga. And I’ve discovered to be and feel artistic, you just have to open your heart and find your own expression. It’s in there, go find it.

This book gave me such rich information not only on the details of our brains, but my brain in particular. It’s another window into understanding humanity and feeling more connected and empathic, rather than more separate. It also provides such a slew of wisdom on recovery, both as a the sufferer and the caretaker. Regardless if you or someone you love has suffered from a stroke or some other physical/mental setback, this book provides a myriad of coping mechanisms and methods for success in dynamic ways. It’s beautiful to see that even within the black and white, the specific functions of each hemisphere, there’s still potential for a world of interpretation, a kaleidoscope of conjecture, a sea of gray . While we are one in the same with our fellow man and this planet in general, we can still hone our distinctive characteristics and views as an individual, adding something special to the whole. I feel grateful to have a fully functioning brain and body and completely empowered by the knowledge and truth that I am in charge of cultivating my mind, body and life to keep improving, keep working toward balance and peace.

If you’ve read any of my previous articles (and I thank you if you have), then you’ve most likely surmised that my aim is not to simply review a piece of art and dissect it for its validity or awfulness, but more to share the process and effect something had on my head and heart, how it may have improved me as a human being and how it may support you through whatever circumstances make up your days. I digress, run off on tangents, interrupt myself consistently and find new lessons even as I write, just as I’m doing right now, but know that in these 63 articles, my goal is to spread something beneficial and positive, to share a bit of myself and hope that it resonates with you, therefore connecting us all even more. Whether through a delicious meal, a spell-binding film, gut-busting piece of comedy, beautiful music, a page-turning book, or some random life-lesson I’ve acquired through my own mistakes or been shown by other’s wisdom, my method of scratching an itch is to process and analyze my mental and physical response and hopefully express it in a unique, creative and ultimately helpful way. So if you’ve read many of my pieces and thought, wow, she’s all over the place, what’s her objective? Her plan? Her purpose? It’s simply to pass on what is working for me, let go of what isn’t and encourage everyone to find their own version of the same. I certainly hope that’s coming across. Thank you for the platform and the feedback. I hope we all continue to connect and get better together.

Explore the dynamics of your individual brain, the duality of life and everything in between. Be open. Absorb. Evolve. Learn from the past and then let it go. Look forward to the future but don’t look forward for contentment. Euphoria and satisfaction are within you and can only truly be experienced through the right brain’s truth, Here and Now.

Comedic Inquisition: WTF with Marc Maron

It’s been many months since I wrote about a podcast, although I casually mention them when I write about comedy, which seems to happen weekly now, but I’ve been inspired lately by many, choosing to listen to interviews and discussion over music. I also seek it out, and as I’ve mentioned with music and fashion and other art-forms, I do the opposite. So clearly I’m wrangling on some sort of addiction here, but it feeds my soul so much and fills me with this strange hope and belief that I can foster whatever form of satire I’m pursuing into something worthwhile. The top of the list for me is What The Fuck (more notably, WTF) with long-time stand-up Marc Maron. Marc is a comic’s comic. If you enjoy stand-up comedy and have followed the movement even loosely over the past couple decades then you should know who he is. I’d be willing to bet many of you don’t simply because you’re living normal lives, not obsessing over weird podcasts and the intricacies of humor. Leave that to geeks like me. The staple in choosing what to write about comes from an enthusiasm placed in my brain that I then want to share, ultimately to a public who doesn’t give a fuck. But my hope is those who are reading this do, and even if you don’t listen, you’re now aware of this existence, of this phenomenon that is podcasting and how much great content there is now via this medium.

Marc is in his late 40’s. He’s lived everywhere a comic should live, now settling in Southern California, still touring clubs like genetically motivated comedians do, and frequently now conducting interviews out of his garage, with some of the best comedic artists of our time, from many decades ago through today. Since I was a kid, watching old Chevy Chase, Eddie Murphy, Bill Murray, and Richard Pryor films (there are many more you can fill in, Steve Martin, Dan Akroyd, etc.), I longed to get to know these people better, know them for who they really are. A far-fetched notion and dream, but I felt their stand-up, sketch performances or film/TV roles, coupled with interviews on Johnny Carson provided a glimmer into their psyche, into how they became who they were. Sometimes it was not a pretty picture, and for others, it proved to be very enlightening and encouraging. Nothing I’ve seen in the past has provided the depth of background into these human beings like WTF, and for that reason, I am addicted.

Marc’s stand-up has evolved into this self-effacing, abrasive, intelligent rant, daring you to dislike him as much as he dislikes himself. He seems to be a man of integrity, painfully honest regarding his mistakes and past and present forms of psychosis, and seems easily nonconformist, not adhering to cultural role-playing or our societal script. In the beginning of the WTF podcast, Marc takes us through his current metamorphosis and growth, either via the description of who he’s interviewing that day, how that person has affected him or merely his take on them as a comedic artist, and ultimately how certain psychological revelations has informed and manifested into his comedy and his interaction with others. Or he may simply be experiencing some personal challenge, whether it be a relationship, an encounter on the road, or just too much time alone. I resonate with how his mind seems to work. He’s constantly questioning, wondering, dissecting and exploring the inner workings of his and others’ minds. On top of his insight, he knows his shit. He comes from an important class of comedians, knows deeply the inner workings of comedy legends and the lesser known artists also involved during each era and therefore he’s a part of a very small cluster of human beings that can call themselves comics. Stand-up is his forte but Marc is aware and involved with comedic artists of varying genres and so the beautiful conversations that emerge are beyond informative, cut much deeper than entertaining and are a catalyst for epiphanies and growth as an artist and a human being.

This seemingly natural wordiness and inquisitive mind leads Marc to be an excellent conversationalist, beyond what we see as a smart interview or a top-notch journalist, Marc very casually and effortlessly takes his cohort on a ride through the depths of comedy, the why and how, exposing the truth and meat of every story. He typically starts at the beginning of their careers, taking a linear road trip with occasional stops to let what is clearly an interesting and very genuine moment unfold. We learn how artists, both well-known and practically unknown, became who they are at this moment, how familial, religious, political, geographical, psychological influences made a mark on how their journey transformed, how their careers evolved, grew or stifled, through peaks and valleys. Naturally, the most memorable episodes of WTF are not with well-known comics everyone already loves, although those provide insight and previously unknown information as well, but for me the interviews with artists I was either completely unaware of or only vaguely familiar were so pleasantly surprising and thought-provoking.

Marc has referred to himself as a farm-team comic, alluding to perhaps his perceived mid-level of success in the comedic world. Similar to some truly remarkable music, film, painting and other art out there, your level of value and success is often determined by your financial worth, your level of fame, the amount of twitter followers you’ve acquired or some other arbitrary measure of achievement. It should be obvious that despite this lack of millions, in dollars or followers, Marc and many other artists out there have been propelling some genius, unique work for a long time. And I believe it’s because he hasn’t risen to a Dane Cook level that he continues to progress and is now changing our world with such a special podcast. Sure there are certain “stars” he’s excited to interview or hopeful to get into his garage, but he knows more than anyone the depth of talent out there deserving of a conversation with him. The podcast has catapulted him to more fame, more followers, potentially more money, but he remains true to the club comic scene and to his objective as a podcaster.

The podcast has opened my eyes and delved me deeper into my comedy geek world, but it’s also affected my depth as a human being. I’m grateful to know more about so many artists I already respected and to have the exposure to dozens more I never knew. Recently, I’ve re-listened to episodes with those we’ve lost, Patrice O’Neal specifically. I cried, actual tears, upon not only hearing the news of Patrice’s stroke, but in particular hearing the sad news of his passing. These artists, and Patrice in particular, are as one of a kind as you can get. Him, Marc and others deserve more success than this difficult world has given them but they’ve retained their integrity and a painful level of honesty, disguising harsh truths in the most clever, wise jokes. They give me hope and courage. If I can be true to myself in my endeavors as a teacher, writer and human being, then I can feel less like a rat in the race and more of a success internally, and hopefully the external will show itself eventually.

I find it confusing and daunting to process just how important comedy is to me and the world. There are people I know fairly well, who I’d never wish any ill-will or negativity of course, but who’ve left for whatever reason and I felt sad for their loved ones and them personally, but held no sadness within myself. I’ve never met Patrice, Marc and many other comedians out there, but their impact on me has been nothing short of profound, and with the podcast, we not only get to know those we already love and respect even better, but we also remember them, honor them and have a format to share them with others. And that is a damn gift. It makes you ponder your own impact and inspires you to absorb more and to have the courage to influence in your own positive way. It is my dream to meet these artists and have my own conversations someday, and because of this incredible podcast, the bar is set high and I’m grateful to have learned and been affected by this.

This podcast has well over 200 episodes and is free, with many avenues to subscribe. There's also an excellent app for iPhones and Droids. I'll warn you, it's addictive, but in the best way.

Listen. Actively. Reflect. Laugh. Project. Enjoy.

My Philosophical Conundrum

Religion is an acrimonious subject. I’m reticent to ever discuss it as it extracts, at times, the worst in people. I find the very reaction, the defensiveness, the collective egos, the criticism, to be the literal antithesis to that belief system’s intention. What began as a collective measure, quickly turned into a manipulative practice in the control of mass quantities of people. Like puppets, hoards of us think, speak and move, according to what others say. What is the difference between an omnipotent being passing down life lessons and your parents doing the same? Your parents are real. As a woman, in 2011, I’d be better off living under a burka in Afghanistan, than adhering to the bible literally. The ways both testaments seek to subvert women is both creative and disturbing. Believing in an all-knowing, supposedly all-loving being and living within their guidelines, whether it be the Bible, Torah, Koran or other document over 800 times as old as I am, is a tough pill to swallow. So I elect to take no pill. Instead, I choose to ask questions and be open to many possible answers, or no answer at all. Hopefully, knowledge is more contagious than fear. That is still a question that remains unanswered, but again, I’m optimistic. I’m not afraid of other religions or religious people. All I ask is they’re open to me, an atheist with a heart, a Yogi with an elemental soul, evolution animating the dreamer.

I find the literal interpretation of any ancient document to be futile. It can only lead to hypocrisy; in you and in others. The number of times these “good books” have been translated from dead languages into ever-evolving live ones provides an inkling to the problem right there. Like a game of telephone, what comes out at the end scarcely resembles the initial thought. So who knows what the actual, truthful first words were and exactly what they were intended to mean. No one. Not your priest, not your rabbi, not even the Dalai Lama. Some have an in-depth study in their theology, in literary interpretation, and are adept at philosophical debate; yet, not one single human being alive today knows anything for sure. That very fact alone, the not knowing, is precisely what leads to devout faith and unapologetic, even forceful, belief. I’m more inspired and encouraged by what I don’t know than what I do. Inquisitive minds never say never and never say always. They’re accustomed to gray areas and swim in the unknown, without a life-vest. This is where I choose to reside, in the murky, mysterious deep, answers progressively unfolding, evolving as I do.

As a recovering pragmatic forward-thinker, I can understand and even appreciate why faith is important, the good it can do, and the focus it can inspire. I simply offer alternatives to the antiquated, unforgiving, rigid structure that organized religion provides. We need to allow ourselves to be wowed by seeking out our own information, instead of mindlessly absorbing what is thrust at us. Sure, there is free will involved in waking up, going to your religious headquarters and reading your form of scripture; however, how many times do we ask, “why am I here? how did I get here? do I still want or need to be here, really? Does this material truly sit well with my soul, sink into my bones and operate smoothly via my mind and body or am I simply conditioned? Am I living within the parameters that have been set happily, without judgement of others, without a need to be better than another, more righteous than another, more welcomed into “heaven” than another?”

The closest concept to a religion that I practice is Yoga. In the west it’s regarded as a method of increasing flexibility, but mostly, yoga carries a heavy stereotype that cripples its potential growth. I’m a teacher from my own, unique perspective, allowing a practice much older than most world religions to provide answers in surprising ways. I still eat meat, compete, curse, and god forbid, make mistakes, because I am a human being, and that is all Yoga has ever asked me to be. The stillness and calm taking residence permanently deep within makes many more appearances in my daily life because of yoga. It has brought love and connections to me and is the most inclusive way of life I’ve come across. I’ve met men and women of all ages, nationalities, sexual orientations and religions and through those differences, we found our common ground, and it happened to be yoga. I’m not saying it has to be Yoga, but it has to be something.

The issue I take with the state of our world is the sheer repellant we apply to people we deem different, often stemming from ignorance and skewed ideology. I’m striving to not make decisions based on my habituated way of thinking but perhaps via a conduit I’ve yet to explore, potentially the very answer lies within the source of the question itself. This goes for small arguments, day to day decisions, career moves, political alliances and all occasions surrounding catharsis. My quarter century on this planet and exposure I’ve been fortunate enough to experience has only given credence to this. Different is good. Weird is awesome. Life is unpredictable. Allow yourself to be awestruck and changed by someone or something else.

Ideology continues to morph and change as people do, but there is one constant. LOVE. If you find that the intention behind whichever your chosen belief system is to infuse, imbue and instill Love, then carry on my friend. Keep yourself honest, continue the quest, allow yourself to doubt. And while bathing in the deep, enigmatic waters, drowning in doubt, think, feel, exude LOVE.

This passage was created and published with Love, please only take it as such.