The Power of Self Belief

What is keeping you from believing, truly believing in the unique beauty you are?

Why are you not worthy of the same opportunities, abundance, health and happiness you admire in others and hope for yourself?

Why does it feel so far away, like a recipe with secret ingredients?

Why must tiny flickers of approval from others contribute to your perception of your own light?

Why does one negative comment or no comment at all replace ten positive ones? What kind of sense does this make?

How does the success or failure of others affect your trajectory? It doesn't!

Everything you experience outside of yourself is a direct refection and universal response to what you’re thinking, feeling and emanating inside. If you feel nervous, unease, confusion, there is likely an element of fear behind it. Fear of not being enough, not measuring or living up to some hypothetical standard that only truly exists in your mind.

You can allow your mind to spin webs of dramatic grandeur and believe the very words you yourself are conjuring in your mind, or you stop that voice with your intelligent awareness and change the conversation.

You are a beast. The amount of belief and love from others should fuel you into outer space. If you don't believe yet, believe for them, kick ass as a nod of gratitude to those who've encouraged and supported from the get go. Ultimately, approval or disapproval from others should not matter. It begins and ends with You.

There is no ladder, no recipe, no carefully crafted steps to the success you want. It constantly reveals itself through hard work and creative pursuits, through those moments of courage. There is no need to know exactly how, just that you can. One breath at a time, be your best, brightest self, without apology, positively, be You.

An affirmation that may help sink this in:

I will not ruin a great day because of fears of inadequacy and failure. The only person who cares if I fail is me. And guess what? Life goes on. There are great lessons and humility in falling down, in trying to rise back up, and to making mistakes along the way. And there’s no reason not to believe in my potential success and long-term progression either. This all comes down to believing I'm lovable and actually finding that soft spot for myself. Stop seeing everything you’re not, listen to what you tell your loved ones and open your eyes to all that you are! I AM so much! I AM more than enough! I have so much! I can start each day with a high base level for happiness and contentment and then be thrilled for the experience of living and learning and loving from there. Do it. Be it. Believe it.

If you are smiling, beaming joy from the inside out, it couldn't matter less what you weigh, who you're wearing, how old you are, where you're from or what you do. You are beauty trapped in the thrill of being alive. Don't let anyone stop you, berate you or negate you. Be You!

I teach students how to feel empowered in their own being everyday. Read 'What I Offer' above and follow my work here.

Davis Love

As tears seemingly rush to escape my face I’m struck by the magnitude of the last 36 hours. At no time previously have I felt such a wretched cocktail of emotions. Fear, sadness, anger, hope. The rest of us are in survival mode along with Davis, but just emotionally. I spent many slow minutes yesterday feeling angry. For the life of me I cannot fathom why this would happen to him, to one of the most genuine, kind, loving, present souls I’ve been fortunate enough to meet. Visuals of him dancing and performing are playing on a reel in my mind along with the usually happy and beautiful whysowhite sounds. I cannot remove him. He was already becoming a big part of my life and therefore on my mind and heart, but now, there’s no turning back. I don’t want to think of anything or anyone else. I’m re-living the laughs and the sincere joy in our conversations and hoping like hell that energy channels into his healing.

I have three jobs. I can’t muster up the concentration or the general giving a shit it requires to fulfill any of those duties. I have no physical or mental energy to teach, certainly no patience to serve mothers and children, and no motivation to write except about Davis. Give me a task involving him or his family. I don’t want a way out of this because I’m in it to win it (like Dennis Kucinich) and I may not get one of his amazing hugs for a while, but I will squeeze his hand and look into his eyes very soon.

I’m still searching and grasping for meaning. Time has slowed significantly so although it’s only been 1-2 days, it’s played like weeks and I’ve had nothing but time to ruminate and feel, for better or worse. What has uplifted me is not only the strength and optimism his family carries (not surprising given how wonderful Davis is) and encountering people all around Chicago who have someway been affected by Davis’ presence. The customers at Savor, the employees at establishments he frequents, my friends and family who’ve maybe only met him once, all giving an outpour of concern and love over one human being. That’s the lesson. You want a legacy? You curious who cares about you, who shows up if something tragic happens to you? Well you get what you give and Davis and the Haines family are being inundated with the evidence of his affect on the world and people around him. Davis is all about love, he expresses this all the time, and I hope with every fiber of my being that he feels one tenth of what he’s given us, because we are all trying like hell to get our message across.

Davis has no lessons to learn or perspective to gain. He’s got it. He’s our 1000 year old Buddha in a talented, sweet, adorable package. So the universe is not sending one man a message. The lesson is for the remaining thousands who are sick over the potential of losing him and inspired to not only express that appreciation for him, but for others and perhaps even for ourselves. Yes I’m wearing a helmet, riding cautiously, walking with tremendous gratitude, breathing with humility, but the breakthrough of awareness inside is bringing about a shift in consciousness only Davis could inspire. He once told me I was a beacon of light. As I reflect upon this moment I can’t help but sob. I told him it was merely his light reflecting off of me and we ultimately decided it was a wash. Regardless who actually had the light (my bet is on him) that moment changed me. It motivated me to be that light all the time. Somehow Davis brings out the best in me and in others and I want that version of myself to show %100 of the time, not just with him.

I’ve also learned that wisdom and bliss can be learned and experienced by people of all ages, from anywhere. Learning both Davis and his twin brother Charles were not only from Alabama but also had only 21 years on this planet threw me for many crazy loops. They’re both ageless, genderless, colorless. They impact you in the best way, by walking the walk, being who they inherently are; goodness. Eckhart Tolle has taught me you cannot identify or define yourself with forms and expect to be truly happy or egoless. Somehow Davis and Charles know this, not just understanding it, but living it, from the inside out. Screw under my skin, Davis gets into your heart and stays, and that’s fine because with him there I exude more love and kindness than I thought I could. He’s impacted and changed my life significantly in such a short period of time. I can’t imagine the subsequent changes from now on. I wish I could adopt him. Or that I had a younger sister I could somehow convince him to marry. Our bond feels familial and the instincts and sensations coursing through my veins during this time has only given proof to that connection. Like many others, I will wait as long as it takes to see him again, to laugh with him, to learn from him, and I’ll keep going back, everyday, like my daily vitamins or health regime, I’ll show my love and support, and he will heal my soul.

Not afraid to admit it...

7 Reasons you should be watching the Ellen show, as in Ellen Degeneres’s talk show. 1: It’s funny. Yeah, I said it. Groundbreaking information, I know! The decades long comedian is, in fact, funny. Like with most funny people and talk-show hosts, Ellen is at her best off the cuff, conversing with audience members or guests. She lets others shine, show-cases her funny staff, applauds her talented guests, and gives many members of the audience her spot-light on a daily basis.

2: It’s good for humanity. Without ever pushing an agenda down your throat, Ellen and her staff give thousands consistently to charity, promote good-will and kindness, and provide valuable information on how we can make a difference, with or without our wallets. She creates games, events, laughs and entertainment as an avenue for change. You can dunk Eva Longoria in filthy water and with one pitch (or ten depending on your skill level, I was an all-star as a child, so, yeah.) you’ve given $10,000 to Breast Cancer Research. She created her own healthy, natural pet-food company called Halo, gives her time, money and energy to causes like the Gentle Barn, campaigns peacefully for legislation like Prop 2 (providing factory farm animals with larger pens, cleaner, kinder conditions), and has gradually become a vegan and lightly given the world tips on approaching a kinder diet ourselves. She shares with humor her personal changes on acquiring an eco-friendly home and lifestyle, gives down on their luck, solid people new cars, money toward their needed repairs, medical bills or school loans, sends someone who needs a boost on a vacation, and provides us all with the greatest medicine and antidote to the state of the world right now, laughter.

3: Talent. Talent. Talent. There’s something for everyone here. I hate country music, loathe it, I’d rather hear babies crying to the sounds of kittens screaming while scratching their nails down sand-paper as the parents scrape sharpened forks on dinner plates. So it’s clear I do not enjoy country music? Ok, good. But, she has country favorites like Rascal Flats and Taylor Swift (those are the only 2 I know, otherwise I simply fast-forward, but there’s more), rappers like Lil Wayne, R&B stars like Bruno Mars, balladeers like Adele, rockers like Kings of Leon and so on. She has musical, theatrical, comedic, dance, culinary, and inventive artists of all ages, sizes, colors and backgrounds on her show and truly shares in the enthusiasm of their gifts and wants to share those gifts. Even better is Ellen and her staff scour the internet and other sources I’m sure to find undiscovered talent, in various genres, and give them a once in a lifetime chance to showcase their tightly honed skills in front of millions. So she’s generous in many ways and the ultimate supporter of the arts. She recognizes our greatest artists cannot be defined and probably haven’t been discovered yet. So regardless if you’re not into a particular artist or genre (like my allergy to honky tonk), you will no doubt be in the next segment or next episode. Just keep watching. And swimming.

4: Tolerance. She, just by being herself, is raising awareness and acceptance amongst many generations in America. She’s affecting generations, in particular the future of our country, and world, our youth. Children love her, they don’t care that she’s gay, that she’s not on camera with long hair, dresses, heels, and overall stereotypical girly behavior. They like her for who she is, because she is a beautiful person, inside and out. She promotes not only self-acceptance, but non-judgment and tolerance of others as well. Not since the most powerful woman in the world (and probably God if God exists) was an African-American woman by the name of Oprah did someone revolutionize television in such a remarkable way. She leads by example and is the greatest advocate for progress and love simply because she exudes that truth.

5: Dance, dance til you’re dead! I’m a huge fan, lover, admirer, enthusiast of dance, in all forms, modern, classic, ordinary and strange. I just fricken love it! And not club dancing either, I’ll dance with my girlfriends but paying money to go into a large warehouse-like building, with seizure inducing strobe lights, awful house music and the throngs of males thinking they can match their crotches with my precious back-end, simply because we’re both in the same place at the same time just puts me off. But dancing to a classic song like Boogy Shoes with Ellen and the audience brings a smile to my face I don’t even think my husband’s seen. Whether you’re “good” or “bad” is irrelevant, the message is to stop taking yourself so seriously, move your big beautiful butt and enjoy the ride. It simultaneously promotes health and bliss because dancing increases your heart rate and burns calories while also bringing you into the ever joyful present moment. She of course has dancers from various stages, young and old, famous or not, and let’s them perform and extract the enthusiasm right out of you.

6: The antithesis of gossip. Ellen, as previously mentioned, is a comedian. She’s observational and will make jokes and commentary on the current state of the world; however, this never includes gossip or rumors, beating up on someone who’s down, or giving anyone who doesn’t deserve it (ie: Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan) a platform or attention. She’s able to be funny and topical without needlessly stooping to the TMZ and entertainment show levels. So you can see and hear about your favorite artists, get updates on the state of the world and Hollywood, but never engage in negative high school-like rhetoric. I’m an admittedly somewhat cynical person at times, and I enjoy really crass and harsh comedians (Ricky Gervais, Daniel Tosh, Natasha Leggero), but they’re mostly ironic and cleverly pointing out atrocities and train wrecks we’re all talking about with our friends. That has it’s place. Entertainment news and tabloids are largely pointless, spreading lies and deliberately being negative without even a whiff of actual humor. With Ellen, it’s purely up-lifting and kind. She walks the walk.

7: It’s collaborative. The new documentary I Am, a fascinating exploration by Director Tom Shadyac of Ace Ventura and Bruce Almight fame, dares to claim humans are, in fact, naturally collaborative and not competitive, as we more often embody. He also shows how human beings, scientifically, biologically, emotionally, what have you, are all connected. These facts are somewhat contradictory to how we think, feel and behave in this technologically advanced, competition based society. Ellen, in my opinion, not only embodies these claims but provides evidence of this truth. Her show’s success and effect on the world shows what human beings collaborating for a common purpose can achieve. Watching the audience dance and laugh with joy, and observing their connection with complete strangers, makes those of us at home on our couches feel that same connection and bliss. By giving the audience information and inspiration on how to get more out of their own lives and how to make someone else’s life a little better, she’s gently promoting both collaboration and connection. Ultimately the show makes me forget about the humans who irritate and frustrate me, and leaves me thinking of those in my life who make me laugh, smile, and feel encouraged, feel connected.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GCOKA7PvCM

As she says, Laugh. Dance. Ellen. Enjoy.