Comedy is art and Anthony Jeselnik is an artist.

Do you have a sick sense of humor? Can you laugh at almost anything? Actually, take away the almost, can you laugh at anything? Are you able to suspend reality and your near and dear beliefs for a few seconds to laugh at what a clear mother of year winner Casey Anthony is? Can you do that 50-60 more times for about an hour? How about allowing a young comedian to look you square in the face while he methodically delivers joke after joke about suicide, rape, racism, family, friends, sex, abortion, religion, and any other typically taboo topics? If you said yes to all these questions, we should hang out. And you should be studying the likes of Mr. Anthony Jeselnik. Now, I don’t have extensive knowledge on Anthony’s past, except that he’s from Pittsburg, he’s in his early 30’s, and when not bouncing from comedy club to festivals to colleges, he lives where many of the best comedians reside, New York City. Living up to my previously labeled “comedy nerd” status, I frequent the improv and open mic nights, I listen to mostly humor driven podcasts, and watch sitcoms, sketch shows and docu-comedies, and therefore I feel I’ve gleaned some insight into the minds and even hearts of my favorite humoredians (A Doug Benson word I love to rip off). While many geek out over Star Wars/Trek, comic books, indie films, indie music, fashion, and other bullshit, comedy is what gets me going, and stand-up requires the most amount of work and the largest set of balls. What I can tell about Anthony is he’s a surprisingly normal human being, with a twisted, brilliant sense of humor. And very big balls.

I came across his Comedy Central Presents initially, then found myself giggling with guilt over his performances on Jimmy Fallon (AJ worked for Late Night the first year and was the first stand-up to appear on his show), and other late night talk shows, but really fell in comedic love when I saw him roast Donald Trump in 2010. Donald’s balls are easy to bust. They’re rich, arrogant, with a ridiculous comb-over and high sensitivity to subjects pertaining their bank account. An interesting fact I learned while listening to Anthony on a recent podcast was Donald Trump’s only off-limits material, in which each comedian participating were forced to sign a contract and adhere to; no jokes about him having less money than he does. Really. Not his kids or his wives or godforbid some charity he’s involved in (there are none), but his fucking bank account. Don’t say I don’t have as much money as I do or I’ll cry and then take you to court for your measly stand-up earnings. Dick.

Anthony had the fortune of following a buffoon more embarrassing and more idiotic than Trump himself. Mike “the Situation” (what a god damn stupid nick name) Sorrentino. We all cringed with humiliation as this self-congratulating man, sure to have an IQ below 70, attempted to deliver jokes toward the roasters and the roasted, to the well-deserved reception of heckling and boos. Without taking the obvious route, Jeselnik followed with his usual cocky demeanor (utilized here ironically, there is a difference) to deliver the best performance of the night; taking measured, calculated jabs at the Situation, the panel and Trump himself, surprising many in the crowd and I bet even more at home, who were not yet privy to his genius, but who were now educated in the school of dark comedy.

During this same year Anthony’s stand-up album, Shakespeare, was named one of the best albums of the year by the Onion AV Club (I’ve been a loyal reader of the Onion for almost ten years, if you’re not aware of it, it’s similar to The Daily Show and the Colbert Report except the writers bust their balls for much less money to write incredibly smart, satirical articles on the current state of the world. Read it.) and Comedy Album of the Year by Punchline Magazine. If I had a child who was an aspiring comedian (and I hope I do someday, otherwise that kid’s being dropped off at a firehouse), I’d give him a short list of specials to study, and this would be one of them. If you have any comedic background, you’ll recognize the influences as he delivers these dry, acerbic, black as the night one-liners. I think of Stephen Wright (a legend as far as I’m concerned. Saw him open for Louie and he’s still got it), but darker, more sinister, and a bit more handsome; and Jack Handy, from Deep Thoughts on SNL. Deep Thoughts always left me laughing and then thinking about why I was laughing. Anthony’s stand-up is the same way; it inspires thought, makes you ask yourself why something’s funny, and then you congratulate yourself, feeling wicked clever having laughed at his jokes for the right reasons.

Below is an insightful take on Anthony's view as an artist. It's interesting to see when his jokes hit home and in particular when they do not. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKtBwyFq384

Just recently, he killed again roasting Charlie Sheen.

He also utilizes Twitter in the right way, cherry picking eye-catching, jaw-dropping one-liners to inspire reaction and affect your day. No bullshit "I love New York in the fall" tweets. Check em out. He goes after hard targets, feeding his irreverence with searing intelligence, delivering unpredictable jokes with impossibly perfect timing. He’s made me laugh embarrassingly loud at jokes about suicide and murder. That’s fricken impressive. In order to truly appreciate his genius you must check your ego and morality at the door. When watching any roasts, I observe the comics sheer appreciation of a well written joke, despite and in spite of the subject matter, if it’s clever and evokes a reaction, then it’s probably born out of some difficult truths; and those facts, the cruel darkness that surrounds our world, can be lightened, their power diminished, just in the ability to laugh at it. You’re laughing, sometimes cringing, sometimes explaining the joke to others, and almost always amazed at the creativity and skill used in writing and performing these jokes.

I’d like to digress for a moment, like I usually do, but this time it’s intentional. I casually mentioned above the attractiveness of Mr. Jeselnik, so I’ll come out and proclaim my crush on him. Most men I crush on are funny. They have to be, I lose my lady boner (sorry, Dad) if a man is dumb or lacking a sense of humor. You cannot possibly be even of average intelligence and have a quality sense of humor. One feeds the other. And because Anthony’s humor very much resonates with my own, and I like men with a bit of ironic bravado, I came in with a 5 out of 10 on the crush scale. When he performed on Conan, that scale was soon crushed, so to speak. It’s the cheeky smile. So yes, my loins are almost as involved as my head here, and I may have some gross puns inspired by his last name, but I stand by it and wholeheartedly would recommend this unique brand of comedy to anyone with very limited sensitivity and high brain activity. That could be you!

I know from my apparent addiction to podcasts and watching comedy centered documentaries that most comedians have trepidation and a lack of trust toward even semi-decent looking comics. They feel they must not have had the dark past or been quite jaded enough in their upbringing to foster the skills necessary in being a successful comedian. We’ve seen through many stories riddled with tragedy, comedy often stems from some seriously fucked up history. And often that history and a comic’s self-deprecating nature will be the fuel that perpetuates their comedic fire. For some; however, they simply see the world through the lens of comedy and yearn to bring a new voice to that small stage. It’s not an easy world to attempt, certainly when you’re attractive and white you’re set up quite easily for other things. But comedy is something in your blood and if you have the stomach and work-ethic, you’ll put in a good ten years before any real success comes your way. Anthony is approaching 9 years in. Knowing his fortune in being attractive, white and male already caused comedy audiences to prejudge him, assuming he was an asshole, he carved out a genius stage presence based on that very notion; a task not easily mastered and he’s executed it incomparably. He’s earned his current level of success and I believe, because of his very quick, very smart voice, he’ll continue to garner tremendous success in this weird business.

My hope is the world does not try to Dane Cook him. Granted, he’s about a billion times more brilliant (and provocative) than Dane’s material ever was (and I did used to enjoy him in high school, so please don’t waste your breath sticking up for that cocky sell-out); he’s in New York, with Louie and Chappelle, so he’s in good company; and he genuinely seems like a grounded comic, with his priorities straight. To build a following on the stand-up circuit and respect amongst the Roast community, you have to pay your dues, take your shit from other comedians (the most common insult involves his lack of notoriety, some roasters claiming he’ll be working in Radio Shack in a few years. I think not.), and you have to be exceedingly and uniquely funny.

I’m not sure of Anthony’s potential trajectory. I’m unsure if someone in the business would want to capitalize on his irreverent nature and inherent hotness by morphing him into some version of Daniel Tosh’s success, but something tells me that’s not for him. There's wind of a Comedy Central show in the works. We shall see. As a geek and a fan, I just hope to continue to see him succeed and for more like-minded people to break into his world. It takes some big ass balls to head down this dark road, far away from light-hearted, broad comedy targeted at those enjoying the Blue Collar variety or the laugh-track sitcom sense of humor. There’s a strange irony in keeping your integrity in tact by telling the jokes the most are offended by because they don’t understand them, instead of softening your material to make more gain or acquire quicker, bigger results. Whatever additional success he earns will be from his hard work and with material he fine-tunes and develops to get the highest quality laughs.

I really enjoy dissecting someone’s approach to comedy, their timing and delivery, their personality on stage. There are two archetypes that I feel are the most successful and the two that resonate the most with me. I love me some creative genius weirdos like Tim Minchin and Reggie Watts, but typically the stand-up I remember and quote come out of regular folk telling jokes. There are brilliant self-effacing comics (Louie and Conan are two big examples), utilizing their very real, seemingly sincere insecurity that allows them to endear themselves to an audience which, in turn, buy into their story and brand of comedy. And then, perhaps the rarer of the two, there are those enforcing a persona of great bravado and inflated confidence; their act being so steeped in belief that we believe it too. It’s a harder sell, and therefore the work and talent required for success is admirable and extraordinary. Anthony is the latter.

While I can attest to his very natural funniness and quick wit off the cuff, the respect I have for joke-writing and ultimately performing catapults him to a short list of those I admire most. Many of my favorite comedians like Patrice O’Neal, Dave Attell, Dave Chappelle, and west coaster Marc Maron, seemingly walk on stage and just talk to the audience, tell stories, emote with their faces and bodies and make you feel like they’re not writing and telling jokes. They’re just observant, extraordinarily funny men reacting to their environment, even using the audience as triggers and bate. And while Anthony’s delivery is exceptional and perfected, you feel the work he put into it, pondering the method and steps taken in arriving at the punchline, and in doing so, you respect him even more. He’s imprinted you, like a mythological creature in novels for teens.

Now for a bit of nerdy bragging. I met him. And I didn’t wait in a long line, say hello, snap a photo and leave. I approached him in a bar like a stalker and made my move. I suppose I should provide context. I’m currently in Minneapolis visiting a great friend, pitching my own brand of weirdo comedy and writing, and for months I’ve had tickets to see Anthony here at the Acme Comedy club, a stand-up joint widely revered by comics, many of whom electing to skip my humor heavy town, Chicago, to spend a few days in the land of lakes and low temperatures. While my semi-serious, mostly humorous crush had been developing, I’d been joking with my brother and friends about seeing Jeselnik perform live and what a badass I thought he was, so leading up to September 24th, there was some mounting anticipation and excitement. I’ve had a great summer, but really it’s a fog of fun that created a cloudy journey to this weekend. And I’m so glad it’s here and it went down the way it did.

All the ass-kissing and promoting I did in the many words above were happily justified last night. Seeing him perform live was akin to seeing the Black Keys live last year. I’d been an avid fan for years, getting to know every nuance to each track, and when I finally saw them it was front row, in a small venue, and I was excited for each of my old favorites and thoroughly enjoyed the lesser known new records performed. With Anthony, this was no exception. I’ve gotten to know Shakespeare and his other material pretty damn well, so as he sharply set up his jokes, I smile and laugh early because I know the surprise ending that’s coming in the form of his punchline. He reminds me of Mitch Hedberg, which makes me happy and sad. His delivery and timing is unmatched and to deconstruct his material would be as daunting as dissecting a brain. You must be able to read and absorb and retain information to understand his jokes and laugh for the right reasons. He fed off the crowd, showing off his ability to be funny on the fly, delivered refreshing new material as funny as his classics, inducing loud laughter and applause breaks, and simultaneously made you laugh at his arrogant stage persona while also finding that same character charming and lovable.

He joked that he’d been selling his CD for $20 bucks and since it was the last show after many days here, he’d sold out. So now he’d welcome you to take photos or get an autograph, for that same 20 dollar bill. Sarcasm being my first and only language, I saddled up to him at the bar, telling him I only had $10, but I wasn’t interested in a picture or an autograph. He said sure, just give me the 10 and we’ll talk. We were off to a lovely start. My memory of our conversation is a bit convoluted, stemming from a 3 hour visit to Beer Fest earlier that evening, and also because of my excitement in meeting someone I respected and enjoyed. It was wonderfully bizarre from my end, but pleasantly normal from his. We talked about comedy of course, him giving a major debt of gratitude to Jack Handy and his Deep Thoughts, single handedly influencing a very effectual comedian in its own right. Suffice it to say we had a really nice, normal people conversation. I felt like I was talking to my husband, who is also super handsome with a cheeky smile, very likable and delicious, talented and confident, but salt of the earth. I don’t delude myself into thinking I made a mark on him, but I found his appreciation for his fans and his respect for comedy refreshing, and enjoyed getting to share in that enthusiasm.

I left that club elevated, for sure. I told Anthony I’m a travel/food/comedy writer and that he’d be on my show someday. He said he wanted to be a travel writer but it was too frustrating and there were too few jobs (no shit, he could have made that up), so he opted for the long-term slow death that is often comedy instead. Weird. And awesome. When an artist puts their stamp on me, I’m loyal for life. Barring sexual molestation or murder, I’m in this for the long-haul and I can only hope to watch his impending rise as I foster my own. I’ll bet our paths cross again someday and our peculiar careers will meet in an intersection of food and comedy, where I prefer to hover.

Go out there and support someone deserving like Anthony. And when you find yourself offended by a joke, ask yourself why. There’s a difference between a broad brush stroke and fine-tipped application of irony. Remember, ooohhh-ing is just laughter for pussies. Laugh. Out loud. You deserve it. And so do the comedians working for it. Comedy is art. Art is courage. Support the courageous and inhabit it yourself. Enjoy.

Laughgasms- this is pleasurable on many levels

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6cxDViAvDM&feature=related

He’s coming to the Chicago Improv November 17-20. His set is worth a lot more than the ticket price so take advantage!

Want to have a humorous, comedy/food rapport with me? Then write mastic8onthis@gmail.com Follow me @mastic8onthis

Artistry and intelligence in motion: Improv Olympic (iO)

My name is Danielle and I’m a comedy nerd. I just walked out of a small, packed room, with a tiny, unassuming stage, to emerge high off of something I’m unable to pinpoint. My facial muscles are spasming from overuse. My very full belly now half digested from the 90 minutes of gut-busting laughter. My mind now a crock-pot of characters, accents, phrases, and quirky ideas. I yearn to contribute, I’m ready to experience it all again, but that moment is gone. The beautiful quality of improv is the main ingredient of presence. The memory will live on, but that magic will never be re-created and will gradually lose all semblance of sense in our brains, fading away into obscurity, with the rest of the days. Like a junkie aiming to regulate, or elevate, we must keep going back for more, more moment to moment genius, more creativity in motion, more antidotes to stress. I’m attracted to the element of danger and even bravery inherent in every improv actor and on every comedy stage. How will this go? Will there be collective moments of awkward silences? Could I be stuck in a room with dozens of others, all thinking the same thing, “I hope this gets funny soon.” You can predict the potential negative outcomes, but the positive, that's uncharted territory. You’ll find yourself laughing in ways you never have, often while cringing or even crying. There are many “pat yourself on the back” moments when an actor or the group in general refers back to an earlier scene, many many minutes ago, and you’re in on the joke. You get it. You’re laughing, for the right reasons. It’s, in a word, awesome.

I have deep, profound appreciation for every genre comedy emerges from, and each interpretation inspired by it. Stand-up has been a long favorite, most likely because of it’s popularity and amount of exposure. Being a child of the 80’s, my foray into comedy came from a decade that idolized comedians, hoisted them up on a pedestal with the likes of hair bands. These artists were catapulted into super-stardom, being given their own sitcoms, massively successful stand-up specials, many even becoming legendary film stars. If images or soundbites are what link us to memories, then Eddie Murphy in a bright red leather suit, 2 seconds of the Seinfeld theme, and Johnny Carson inviting a deserving comedian up to his couch are triggers from my comedic upbringing.

Today, being a stand-up comic does not get you as much money, as many fans, or as many career options as it used to, but it still garners tremendous respect among those with the knowledge and appreciation. I’d imagine the smartest comedians prefer a cult following to massive success because that forces you to stay sharp and creative, the most important result being respect amongst your fellow comedians. As a writer, if I’m ever successful, I prefer my readers to be like-minded people whom I’d respect as well, rather than hoards of mediocre, semi-intelligent fans. But we take what we can get.

Louis C.K. is one who’s created an admirable amount of success by staying true to himself, continuing to pursue his craft, while still appealing to only the smartest, impossible to offend people. Back in the 80’s, being offered a TV show on cable, not a network, on a channel like FX, would most likely look like a step down, a concession. Today, some of the best writing and acting is happening on television, on channels like FX, Comedy Central, AMC, HBO, Showtime and Adult Swim. I enjoy shows like Community, Modern Family, and 30 Rock, but I’d still choose Louie, Wilfred, Workaholics or Jon Benjamin has a Van any day. I wish more people felt the same. But the cult following does make it feel special, a unique piece of art you and other smart (nerdy) people enjoy. What makes you laugh says a lot about who you are and I take that very seriously.

Cycling back to improv and focusing on the rare occurrence of sketch comedy on the small screen, I’m majorly inspired by this form of comedy and feel it deserves slightly more respect from the masses than it receives. Genius shows like Mr. Show, the 90’s classics like the State and Kids in the Hall would struggle to survive today, leading to limited options for middle America. SNL continues to evolve, and their brilliant writers and actors are still emerging from the Chicago improv scene, but my hope is for more appreciation for Upright Citizens Brigade, Jon Benjamin has a Van, Little Britain, and other clever, irreverent, and purely innovative art making a name for itself today. And with that in mind I’d like to encourage not only my fellow Chicagoans, lucky to live in the best comedy city in the world, but all of you around this country of ours desperately in need of some levity. Times are a bit depressing at the moment. It is not the time to cut funding for the arts. It is time to get your big butt off your couch and into a comedy club, supporting those aiming to elevate our moods and provoke thought.

Improv Olympic (iO) is home to some of the biggest comedy stars you know today, from SNL, MADtv, and a slew of great films and TV shows. It happens to be maybe 100 steps from my apartment, so I’m fortunate, but even if it was 30 minutes away, I’d make the trek and support groups like Cook County Social Club and the Reckoning, some of the smartest, most talented improv artists this country has to offer. These people amuse and entertain you, on the spot, off the cuff, for pennies, because they love it, because they have to do it. I’m there and I yearn to take classes, to get up there, and perhaps I’ll finally get the courage one day. For now, I’ll support and pay my respect to the courageous, who give me the greatest gift one can bestow, the gift of laughter. And here, there is no script, no preparation, just rapidly spinning minds, firing funny on all cylinders. Part of the magic is the audience. We are apart of this story unfolding, so the dozens of us in a room are sharing an experience, a very unique and memorable one. Improv is an act of social chess, mental ping-pong, a collaborative sport worth exposing and absorbing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ikXRPgKtw8

Above is a compilation made by iO to promote CCSC. It doesn't do much justice but you can get an idea of their range and talent. When we saw Cook County, two actors were absent. We watched two of them riff a scene for 45 minutes about Don't Ask Don't Tell. It was incredible, we laughed til it hurt.

Please do not stop supporting the arts. And please do not overlook that comedy is art, potentially the most influential form. Maintain high standards, seek it out, drink it in. Enjoy.

Bitch is the new black. And black is back.

I’m going to go against my previous regime and decided to bore you with a forceful recommendation of the funniest movie I’ve seen in many years, let alone this mediocre one (for movies, not for me, I’m having a great 2011!). This movie is widely acclaimed by critics, is continuing to kick ass at the box office, despite hunky opponents like Thor and whatever Will Ferrell decided to distribute this week, and has the most talented cast since Inception, without all the mind confusion. If you haven’t figured it out yet, please read something else. Duh, Bridesmaids! Jesus this movie is damn funny. I just saw it on Monday, after a delicious lunch (dim sum to be reviewed soon). I usually like to visit the cinema before noon, as the tickets are only $6, and I love saving 5 bucks and then putting it toward food later. But not on Monday. I knew Bridesmaids deserved my full $11.50 (that’s right suburbanites, the movies cost $11.50 when you live somewhere awesome! Bit of a drag but worth it.). So I ponied up my hard-earned dough, scored a bucket of popcorn from Garrets, not the crappy kind from the movie theatre, and settled in to give my abdominals and cheeks (facial, not gluteal) the work-out they’d been craving.

I’d be remiss if I did not mention the cavalcade of press surrounding this film and the gender heavy commentary. It’s so old news. It’s as if no one even remembers Gilda Radner or Lucille Ball. Or Ellen Degeneres and every other brilliant comic and sketch artist that has graced us with their talent since the mid 20th century. And that was when women weren’t even allowed to work, let alone would people ever admit they were funny. But they were, god dammit. And in similar ways to men, being physical and silly, and in new slinky feminine ways. They were a total comedic package, and the public begrudgingly laughed along.

Now its 2011. And much to the chagrin of some seriously backasswards folks, we have not only an African American (proven by a long form birth certificate) president, lady Secretary of State and other important, powerful rolls, but we’ve also been privy to a decade of uniquely funny, strong people, men and women. In real life most people are boring, semi-educated, broadly funny, and in general uninspiring. Both sexes. Not just women. Not just men. Everyone.

Tina Fey was the head-writer on SNL for years, now garnering tremendous success on her hilarious TV show (please stop watching How I Met Your Mother and watch something actually funny like 30 Rock), wrote the very funny Mean Girls, starred in one of my personal favorites from 2008, Baby Mama, and currently released her memoir Bossypants, which I enjoyed immensely. And during her reign at SNL she nourished and fostered the talents of many people, but really paved the way for Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolf, Amy Pohler, and Rachel Dratch to not only shine, but, sorry to say it, kick the men’s asses. Big time.

Kristen, the star of Bridesmaids, has proven her comedic and acting chops not only as a variety of repeat characters on SNL, but also in supporting rolls in great films like Adventureland, Ghost Town, MacGruber, and the recent release Paul. You may also remember her as the mean-spirited but wickedly funny co-worker of Katherine Heigl’s in Knocked Up. She stood out to many in that role, then garnered additional attention at SNL and her career really started to bloom. She’s a genuine talent, and although she is leggy and attractive, she always serves comedy first, is not afraid to look or sound stupid, and her humorous confidence makes her even more attractive. Her, Tina and Amy’s success is proving a great trend in our society, so the talk of this movie being a “chick flick” or some sort of “comedy for women” is insulting and just plain stupid. Women are funny. Get over it.

I genuinely laugh at men and women's very apparent shortcomings. Some of my favorite comedians will blatantly make fun of women and how they’re inferior to men. I personally don’t enjoy the WNBA either and I’m fine with that. I don’t take it that seriously, otherwise I’d be offended 97% of the time. Comedians like Daniel Tosh are making these jokes in irony, not sincerity, and hopefully most are smart enough recognize that. But the general question of whether women are funny is a bit tired and I think the question has been answered. Many times over. Many years ago.

Off the soap box and on to the movie. My intention here was to express my feelings on this bullshit debate and rhetoric and to implore you to see this film. There’s nothing I can write about the movie, the plot, the characters, or any other detail that you can’t find in another review out there. The important thing to know is this movie is a comedy, for everyone, not just women. Yes the cast is mostly composed of women, like most comedies have been with men up to this point, but it’s not geared to any specific audience. Just one with a sense of humor. Me and my big hunk of man love went together and we both laughed til our cheeks (facial) hurt. Each of the bridesmaids could lead their own movie or show, they all contribute valuably both in character and in humor. Kristen is the star here, though, and she deserves to be. She remains likable despite some major flaws and breakdowns. And holy hell in a hand basket is she fricken funny.

Big ups to Jon Hamm, my current #1 crush after watching not only his brilliance in Mad Men, his sexy assholiness in the Town, and a secret dream I had, but more so for his foray into comedy. He’s delivered above average performances twice on SNL, had a uber funny re-occurring guest role on 30 Rock, and his performance here is uncanny and disturbingly funny. He plays an asshole we’ve all either dated, wanted to date, or watched a friend stupidly date. Not much else needs to be said, but the 19 year old in me wants him in this movie; it brings me back to a sad time when sexy was enough and substance went by the waste-side. I think most men know exactly what I mean. Ha. Ya burnt!

As Tina Fey so eloquently stated during her appearance on SNL’s Weekend Update back in early 2008, “Bitch is the new Black!” And black is back people, like it or not. Just surrender and enjoy it.

Also, movies like Something Borrowed and He's Just Not That Into You and other formulaic RomComs are awful. If those are chick flicks, fine. They're deplorable and should be shipped to GITMO to torture terrorists. Shouldn't need to be mentioned but that's another reason this movie is so great. It projects people as they are, raunchy, confused, funny, with sometimes challenging bowel movements. The following clip is one of the trailers you may have seen. The beauty of this is there are many funny moments but most are not in the film, so all you "i'm afraid all the funny parts are in the previews" people can rest easy. It's all funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrRd2QSsGc4

I love men. I love women. Most are blah. Some are special. Some are funny. Watch some of them be funny in Bridesmaids. Enjoy.

Not afraid to admit it...

7 Reasons you should be watching the Ellen show, as in Ellen Degeneres’s talk show. 1: It’s funny. Yeah, I said it. Groundbreaking information, I know! The decades long comedian is, in fact, funny. Like with most funny people and talk-show hosts, Ellen is at her best off the cuff, conversing with audience members or guests. She lets others shine, show-cases her funny staff, applauds her talented guests, and gives many members of the audience her spot-light on a daily basis.

2: It’s good for humanity. Without ever pushing an agenda down your throat, Ellen and her staff give thousands consistently to charity, promote good-will and kindness, and provide valuable information on how we can make a difference, with or without our wallets. She creates games, events, laughs and entertainment as an avenue for change. You can dunk Eva Longoria in filthy water and with one pitch (or ten depending on your skill level, I was an all-star as a child, so, yeah.) you’ve given $10,000 to Breast Cancer Research. She created her own healthy, natural pet-food company called Halo, gives her time, money and energy to causes like the Gentle Barn, campaigns peacefully for legislation like Prop 2 (providing factory farm animals with larger pens, cleaner, kinder conditions), and has gradually become a vegan and lightly given the world tips on approaching a kinder diet ourselves. She shares with humor her personal changes on acquiring an eco-friendly home and lifestyle, gives down on their luck, solid people new cars, money toward their needed repairs, medical bills or school loans, sends someone who needs a boost on a vacation, and provides us all with the greatest medicine and antidote to the state of the world right now, laughter.

3: Talent. Talent. Talent. There’s something for everyone here. I hate country music, loathe it, I’d rather hear babies crying to the sounds of kittens screaming while scratching their nails down sand-paper as the parents scrape sharpened forks on dinner plates. So it’s clear I do not enjoy country music? Ok, good. But, she has country favorites like Rascal Flats and Taylor Swift (those are the only 2 I know, otherwise I simply fast-forward, but there’s more), rappers like Lil Wayne, R&B stars like Bruno Mars, balladeers like Adele, rockers like Kings of Leon and so on. She has musical, theatrical, comedic, dance, culinary, and inventive artists of all ages, sizes, colors and backgrounds on her show and truly shares in the enthusiasm of their gifts and wants to share those gifts. Even better is Ellen and her staff scour the internet and other sources I’m sure to find undiscovered talent, in various genres, and give them a once in a lifetime chance to showcase their tightly honed skills in front of millions. So she’s generous in many ways and the ultimate supporter of the arts. She recognizes our greatest artists cannot be defined and probably haven’t been discovered yet. So regardless if you’re not into a particular artist or genre (like my allergy to honky tonk), you will no doubt be in the next segment or next episode. Just keep watching. And swimming.

4: Tolerance. She, just by being herself, is raising awareness and acceptance amongst many generations in America. She’s affecting generations, in particular the future of our country, and world, our youth. Children love her, they don’t care that she’s gay, that she’s not on camera with long hair, dresses, heels, and overall stereotypical girly behavior. They like her for who she is, because she is a beautiful person, inside and out. She promotes not only self-acceptance, but non-judgment and tolerance of others as well. Not since the most powerful woman in the world (and probably God if God exists) was an African-American woman by the name of Oprah did someone revolutionize television in such a remarkable way. She leads by example and is the greatest advocate for progress and love simply because she exudes that truth.

5: Dance, dance til you’re dead! I’m a huge fan, lover, admirer, enthusiast of dance, in all forms, modern, classic, ordinary and strange. I just fricken love it! And not club dancing either, I’ll dance with my girlfriends but paying money to go into a large warehouse-like building, with seizure inducing strobe lights, awful house music and the throngs of males thinking they can match their crotches with my precious back-end, simply because we’re both in the same place at the same time just puts me off. But dancing to a classic song like Boogy Shoes with Ellen and the audience brings a smile to my face I don’t even think my husband’s seen. Whether you’re “good” or “bad” is irrelevant, the message is to stop taking yourself so seriously, move your big beautiful butt and enjoy the ride. It simultaneously promotes health and bliss because dancing increases your heart rate and burns calories while also bringing you into the ever joyful present moment. She of course has dancers from various stages, young and old, famous or not, and let’s them perform and extract the enthusiasm right out of you.

6: The antithesis of gossip. Ellen, as previously mentioned, is a comedian. She’s observational and will make jokes and commentary on the current state of the world; however, this never includes gossip or rumors, beating up on someone who’s down, or giving anyone who doesn’t deserve it (ie: Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan) a platform or attention. She’s able to be funny and topical without needlessly stooping to the TMZ and entertainment show levels. So you can see and hear about your favorite artists, get updates on the state of the world and Hollywood, but never engage in negative high school-like rhetoric. I’m an admittedly somewhat cynical person at times, and I enjoy really crass and harsh comedians (Ricky Gervais, Daniel Tosh, Natasha Leggero), but they’re mostly ironic and cleverly pointing out atrocities and train wrecks we’re all talking about with our friends. That has it’s place. Entertainment news and tabloids are largely pointless, spreading lies and deliberately being negative without even a whiff of actual humor. With Ellen, it’s purely up-lifting and kind. She walks the walk.

7: It’s collaborative. The new documentary I Am, a fascinating exploration by Director Tom Shadyac of Ace Ventura and Bruce Almight fame, dares to claim humans are, in fact, naturally collaborative and not competitive, as we more often embody. He also shows how human beings, scientifically, biologically, emotionally, what have you, are all connected. These facts are somewhat contradictory to how we think, feel and behave in this technologically advanced, competition based society. Ellen, in my opinion, not only embodies these claims but provides evidence of this truth. Her show’s success and effect on the world shows what human beings collaborating for a common purpose can achieve. Watching the audience dance and laugh with joy, and observing their connection with complete strangers, makes those of us at home on our couches feel that same connection and bliss. By giving the audience information and inspiration on how to get more out of their own lives and how to make someone else’s life a little better, she’s gently promoting both collaboration and connection. Ultimately the show makes me forget about the humans who irritate and frustrate me, and leaves me thinking of those in my life who make me laugh, smile, and feel encouraged, feel connected.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GCOKA7PvCM

As she says, Laugh. Dance. Ellen. Enjoy.

Look and listen, but mostly listen...

I love food, very much, bona-fide living to eat kind of person and not the other way around. But in order not to turn into a person that needs a crane to be exported out of their house I find ways to balance my life between mastication. Some of these things involve being sedentary but not most. Hear me out. Actually, listen. Below are 3 semi-rant suggestions on various forms of entertainment. I enjoy movies, TV, music and comedy immensely. As described below I often do not seek such things out as they somehow find me, perfect for a lazy masticator. I only plan to blog 2-3 times a week so I've included these "entertainment of the week" segments in one long blog. You can enjoy said things while walking, biking, training, busing, driving, as I often do. Except the film, give yourself a lazy Sunday and focus yourself for 90 minutes damn it! Read this at your leisure. Thanks, masticate, enjoy. Song of the week:

This is something I’m choosing to write about because I get into moods, or obsessions, I don’t know really but I’ll be into one particular song for years, more like days or weeks, but I’ll just listen and listen and dissect and analyze. I love music, but I don’t pursue it. My brother pursues it, finds it, good music lurking in the undergrowth. It just happens to me, someone wonderful will bring something by me and I’ll go, hey! I like that, that’s now mine and was my idea, you screw off, thanks for nothing.

Years ago, my man child lover friend also known as my husband (such a boring, antiquated word), Derek, puts on this song by a band that will soon become MY favorite band, the band I’VE been listening to for years before anyone else and before the radio stations and MTV finally got wind of it. It was a song called The Lengths, by the incredible two-man band, The Black Keys. Feels good to just say that, ahhh, or write it, type it. Shut up. I’ve since fallen in love with every single one of their records, every single song on every single album, no exaggeration. I push them onto my loved ones like I have some secret, juicy gossip they’ve just got to hear and I’ve just got to tell before anyone divulges it before me.

This particular song I have been obsessed with for years, not just days or weeks like the others. It’s a departure for them, a rare slow, somber, heart-wrenching semi-ballad sandwiched between the wicked riffs and drums and 3 minute wonders some of you may be familiar with. The song wreaks of longing, of resentment, torture, emotional demise, a light-hearted vengeance, or more likely, heavy-hearted revenge filled hatred disguised in this incredible melody and soul-crushing lyrics. Here’s just a few from the beginning:

'Tell me where you’re goin What is going wrong Felt you leavin Before you’d even gone

Hold me now, or never, ever, hold me again No more talk, can take me from this pain I’m in'

I’m chill-ridden and emoting just from typing that. Top it with the unbelievably beautiful music and you’ll never be the same.

So, as my first song of the week entry into this blog, I choose this. This, because I quite literally put my iPod on repeat and listened to it no less than 100 times on an international flight back to the states. This, because it makes me both love and hate my husband at the same time and I don’t know why! But I love it. Just listening to the first few seconds of the mind-bending guitar riff will send anyone with a soul into a meltdown. It crushes you, renders you completely shattered, broken and then renewed. I love these guys for many reasons and am very grateful and proud for their recent success. I will stand by them when people ultimately get sick of them because radio stations overplay their awesomeness. You’ll never hear this song overplayed, because it’s too obscure, before their break into the mainstream scene. And for that, you’ll never get sick of it or forget it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8tBPidveM4

Listen. Learn. Transform. You’re welcome.

Podcast of the week:

Like everything else except meetings and parties, I’m late to the trend. My Mom tried to convince me for a good two years to wear wedges. I refused, not sure why, just wasn’t into it. Then one day, out of nowhere, I wore a pair, most likely belonging to my mother, and I was hooked. My Mom just looked at me in disbelief like “really?seriously?” That clearly has nothing to do with this, it merely serves as an example that I’m late to things most people already are enjoying and pursuing, like podcasts. I am now quite obsessed with podcasts. It all started about 18 months ago when I got wind of the Ricky Gervais podcast. Ricky and his awesome co-writer, co-comic genius Stephen Merchant, pioneered the podcasting movement and have a record-breaking 300 million downloads as of late. I plan to delve into particular episodes, conversations or simply the mind of Karl Pilkington in general at some point, but for today I’m just going to pay them their respect with an honorable mention and then move on to the chosen podcast of the week. Drum roll please..... oh, no one’s reading this? Except my mom? Right.

Doug Loves Movies. DLM is hosted by none other than funny man Doug Benson. He calls himself the professional humoredian, which I quite like because I love wordplay! Almost as much as cadbury mini-eggs. I munch on them now as I explore my lexicon and cleverly devise some diction for your entertainment. DLM came across my lap like almost everything worth experiencing does, through someone else telling me about it. Again I don’t pursue things, like music, it just happens upon me and I soak it up and invariably pretend it was my own idea. So, MY favorite podcast as of recent stars the lovable Doug Benson, best known to me while watching VH1’s Best Week Ever, and always mistaken for I Love the 80’s, 70’s, 90’s, and all the sequels I followed incessantly during my college years. I’m still desperately waiting for those to release on DVD. My god that’d be a dream come true. But I digress.

Doug brings on a few guests, usually comedian friends of his, often who’ve worked together on some recent project, most likely another podcast as it’s an incestuous trend there in Hollywood. He’s had such guests as the cast of NBC’s Parks and Recreation, podcast favorites like Jimmy Pardo, Scott Aukerman, and Chris Hardwick. He’s even landed big names like Kevin Smith, Sarah Silverman, and John Lithgow. Needless to say they’re all entertaining, laughter is abound in this 60 minutes of amusement.

He spends the first half discussing movies he’s seen recently with his guests, often leading to non-related tangents, which induce the most laughs, and then always bringing it back on message to play the AhMazing Leonard Maltin game. Doug created this fun and easy game with the helpful tool of the Mr. Leonard Maltin (famed film critic and regular on Reelz Channel, see if you can find it) App. I won’t go into detail on how the game is played because that would be tedious and time-consuming; all I’ll say is it’s hilarious to listen to and ultimately informative at the end. It may be useless knowledge but it’s knowledge nonetheless. And that is knowledge I’m ripe with, serves me so well in this cruel world. Each guest plays for an audience member, most of which are fans and bring in creative (or not) name tags that each celebrity can choose from, and the winner then hoists a cavalcade of peculiar prizes at said audience member. Doug rounds out the 60 minutes in heaven by calling someone a shit head. The names being chosen by the audience member whose representative did not win the Leonard Maltin game. It’s random, but funny, really seals everything together.

Mainly I enjoy the podcast for very simple reasons. I love to laugh, first and foremost, and this hour is filled with it. I also love movies, so when they do occasionally talk about movies I can pretend I’m part of the discussion and 90% of the time I agree with Doug, except on Inception, that movie blew my mind! And most importantly, Doug genuinely seems like a nice guy. That might sound lame, but there are so many douchey, asshole, semi-funny people out there that are making boat loads of money and being rewarded for their assholiness. I’m fairly selective on who I invest time and energy in, and especially money, and although the podcast is free, DLM is well worth it. You can also buy DLM comedy albums on iTunes for 2 bucks or purchase other podcasts and albums with which Doug is a participant. This was about podcasts, and like a DLM episode, about half of this was relevant material.

I hope you came away with some useless knowledge.

www.douglovesmovies.com

Laugh. Eat. Laugh and eat. Enjoy.

Movie of the week:

Seems like Old Times

What? Is that a real film? Is it one of those on-demand, straight to DVD movies with Val Kilmer and 50 cent? No, it’s not, but more on that later, as I love Val Kilmer and do not relish being made fun of for still loving him despite his Chaz Bono like appearance these days and multiple straight to DVD films with the aforementioned rapper/actor. Already digressing, apologies.

Seems like Old Times is a smile inducing, 1978 comedy starring Chevy Chase, Goldie Hawn, and Charles Grodin, written by the incomparable Neil Simon. Hot off his year-long stint on the freshman season of Saturday Night Live, Chevy was cute as ever with that cavernous chin dimple and impeccable delivery. He plays Goldie Hawn’s ex-husband, Nick, a journalist living in a deserted area in the mountains of California. Goldie’s character, Glenda, is a defense attorney now married to Charles Grodin’s character, Ira, Assistant District Attorney, soon to be named District Attorney if all goes to plan.

Glenda is famous for defending the defenseless, then employing the unemployable herself in order to keep her clients in check. Her soft spot lead to her employing a driver, caterers and maids despite not necessarily affording it. She also has 6 dogs, 2 cats, and 5 goldfish, a fact charmingly thrown in her face by Aurora, her sassy hispanic house-keeper, burdened with the task of caring for all species of the house.

The fun really starts to happen when Nick is abducted, forced to rob a bank, then thrown out of a car for dead in Glenda and Ira’s very district. The chemistry between Chevy and Goldie is palpable, and the orchestra of lies floating between the three main characters as Chevy’s character Nick becomes a fugitive in need of defense would entertain the animals taking up their house, let alone the humans fortunate enough to watch this by choice. Charles and Goldie’s characters are at odds because while attempting to keep work and home separate, they’re consistently reminded they are on opposite sides of the courtroom as a defender and prosecutor, and then the added stress of an ex-husband making his way back into their lives and the potential ramifications, both to Ira’s career and to their relationship in general.

Not to be forgotten or discounted are the infectious performances by the supporting cast, including the previously mentioned Aurora, the driver and at times butler/servant Chester, the Native American brothers Glenda defends, the judge, the governor of California and Ira’s co-worker, the two idiots who devised the plan to abduct Nick and start this whole charade, and of course the animals. The sarcasm and banter within the cast makes this movie beyond watchable, the end bringing them all together in a very satisfying way.

I have my mom to thank for introducing this film to me at a young age, along with other classics from that era like Caddyshack, Arthur, The Goodbye Girl and Fletch. Seems like old Times, in particular, is so gentle and sweet. There is no filth or vulgarity, and that’s not something that bothers me, but this allows for enjoyment from all ages and let’s it rely on the clever writing and genius delivery by the very talented cast. I highly recommend cozying up with the family, or even by yourself, one lazy Sunday afternoon and spending 90 minutes you won’t regret watching Seems like old Times.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081480/

Watch. Eat popcorn. And bunch-a-crunch. Cherry Coke. Enjoy.