Anxiety is a Bitch: The Video Blog (Vlog thing)

Watch the video here: Anxiety is a Bitch and/or read the short piece below! http://youtu.be/bzKIOnFySnI

Recently I shared a piece co-written with a friend, yoga teacher, and recovering sufferer of anxiety on how to overcome these very human challenges and issues. I’ve realized the more people I connect with and teach that we all learn differently. And just because reading and writing is my preferred mechanism to learn, it’s not necessarily yours or someone else's.

So, once a week I’ll be sharing a short video for those who resonate with visuals, with listening, over reading a lengthy piece. I’ll introduce the topic and share a short blog piece for those who still enjoy reading (and I thank you for it!) but this focus will be specific for those who’d prefer to watch a video over reading an article.

Anxiety is a bitch. Human beings experience a wide variety of symptoms that fall along a spectrum. The advice I’ll share and reiterate from our lengthier piece will speak to those of us who fall along the mild to strong experiences of anxiety, stress, and depression. For those who experience consistent extremes, symptoms of which these tools unfortunately have no positive influence in helping, I advise you to connect with a physician, therapist or professional highly trained in this field.

I write from the perspective of one who’s had numerous and consistent experiences with anxiety, with discontent, with worry and dread, as one who delved deep into the study of Psychology before I began my career as a Yoga teacher and freelance writer. I write as a fellow human floating along the river of struggle, hoping to help anyone I can. If it resonates, great, take it and use what you will. If it doesn’t, simply throw it away. I share from love.

In a nutshell, Leeann Hepler and my advice surrounded the following life tools:

Breath- hugely important. Watch your breath when your mood, attitude and energy levels turns to shit. When someone or something thrusts a negative experience into your day, notice how your breath can help you endure and move through so the soiled emotions don’t ruin the rest of your day. Taking life one breath at a time feels much more manageable and keeps the body in harmony and the mind in perspective. Slow down your breath.

Connect with real people and animals- By real people I am referring to a social life beyond social media. Facebook is great but we’ve all seen the multiple studies detailing how social media actual makes people feel less connected, less social, more depressed, more isolated. I don’t need a lot of people. I’m truly happy with 1 or 2 true friends, those who know the good, bad and ugly truth of me and accept me all the same. Those who will hug me for a long time, trust me enough to cry with me and are trustworthy enough that I can cry with them. If they’re no available, my animals fill that void nicely. Unconditional love, coupled with hugs, are excellent medicine. Good, positive, elevating beings are key. Less negative Nellys.

Take care of you- I don’t care about counting or burning calories. The body is a machine, it’s designed to move and work, so we have to work it. Move your body in a way you love. Don’t force yourself into a gym if you hate it, you’ll never keep it up. Walk, hike, dance, do Yoga, jump rope, swim, whatever your little heart desires. Drink water, lots of it! Eat vegetables and more whole foods than processed foods. It’s astounding how what we eat affects how we feel, not just physically but mentally as well. Listen to what makes you feel energized, optimistic and healthy and try to take in more of it. And give yourself time to do something silly, something you really love, that makes you feel creative and authentic and pulls you out of “doing” and takes you deeper into “being.”

Create a mantra or motto or life phrase- A good Yoga teacher (hello!) can work with you and find a great one that’s unique to you. I also happen to believe we’re all our best teachers and after spending some time getting to know yourself better, what makes you feel more balanced and at peace and just plain sane. Sometimes we want to feel sad, some great clarity and creativity can emerge from feeling melancholy. But we need not swim in those self destructive emotions for too long. They won’t serve us in the long term so just enjoy them in the short term, give yourself a day. When you’re angry, sad, frustrated, overwhelmed, worried, etc., come up with a mantra that, along with your breath, brings you back to your own version of square 1. Yogis love So Ham, I Am, and so do I. If you tend to spin a web of crazy hypothetical scenarios that your mind constructs on its own evil devices, use a mantra like I Am Fine, I Am Alive, I Am Enough. It doesn’t have carry the words I Am, those are just good examples to go from.

Hope the words and/or video resonates and maybe helps you. Simple, everyday stuff we can all do. If you have questions, insights of your own, please feel invited to engage in a dialogue. Message me via social media (Dani Eats Life on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram) or email danieatslife@gmail.com

La Via Del Respiro- The Way of the Breath

You were birthed not to absorb the emotional debt of your parents.Their dreams. Their mistakes. Their opinions. You emerged not to retreat back to where you once came. Your fears. Your lessons. Your truths. You are granted breath not to hold it hostage beneath your heart. Your air. Somehow separate. Now belonging to you. You awaken each day with a pulse, a rhythm with which to live your life. Your beat. Your stir. Your drum. You march to it, ignoring the deafening reverberations of others. Their stomp. Their sync. Their song. You submerge in it, forgetting. Your light. Your lyric. Your love. You find your path again. Your way. Your trail. Your hum. You see others on your way. Their successes. Their struggles. Their psalm. You let go of it all. Your past. Your failures. Your brawl. You hear yourself in their strum. Your uniqueness. Your sameness. Your all. You accept what is, the whole. Your goodness. Their connectedness. Oneness. You’re All.

Music for the Moment

The best quality music brings to my life is the ability, over most other art-forms, to tap me into primal urges, simple but profound needs, desires and truths. It affects me from the inside out, makes my heart beat faster, harder, louder. It activates and stimulates both sides of my brain at once, provoking thought and feeling. At once we connect with others who are sharing the same frequency and sensation when reacting to this music; but also there’s an independent, unique memory now attached to your story, forever marking this era in your life. Whenever you hear that song or album, you’ll immediately be thrust back to those sense perceptions and emotions accompanying this tune. For me, this experience is still somewhat rare, perhaps because I have a dog like loyalty to musicians or bands and I’ll obsessively listen to them for months, even years, in a small group of others until someone snaps me out of my trance. And there's simply not enough time in the day to experience enough art. Regardless of how or why, I enjoy these extraordinary experiences with music, and songs in particular. I’m fortunate in receiving this gift from people I know, people I call friends and soul mates, the members of the exquisitely special and talented band whysowhite. I plan to share many insights and thoughts on my journey with whysowhite in the future, but for now I just look forward to their impending reunion, leading to a great gift for humanity. There’s enough to placate me until then, please give them a listen and spread the Love. Please check out this video on my hub’s vimeo page, where he showcases his hard work while shining a light on others. There are a few gems in there, and two joyful, infectious whysowhite videos, providing merely a speck, a glimmer into the infinitely talented 7 man band we can’t get enough of, and those we’re patiently waiting until we get even just a little more. While you’re at it, hop over to our friend and enigmatic member of whysowhite’s music blog, Moonspeak. The man lives, breathes, communicates music. His knowledge is cavernous, taste impeccable, and instincts are more sound than anyone I’ve ever known. His equally beautiful and talented brother (another profound member of wsw) lends his skills and personality to this very well thought-out selection of artists, albums and songs. Imagine Van Gogh having an art blog. You’d be a fool not to read, listen, watch, absorb and retain. I’m forever changed by their presence in my life and now I’m aiming to spread the joy and love they’ve so generously given me. Enjoy this feast for your eyes, ears, minds and hearts, and then spread the soulful love.

Currently there are a few songs playing on shuffle, both in my iPod and in the space between my ears, where my beautifully operatic voice sings to me while I tread lightly on the slippery, cold streets of Chicago. It’s pretty incredible how great I sound inside my head, or how great my mind plays back songs I’ve listened to on repeat. I do my best to open myself to any genre of music. I’ve found modern country to be a bit nauseating but I’m willing to admit my reluctance in listening to a lot of it, so there’s bound to be some great artists out there I just haven’t made time for, choosing instead to listen to every single Black Keys song over and over, keeping my ears occupied between podcasts and until their next album releases. Let me quickly recommend El Camino if you haven’t given it a go yet. It carries this great quality of feeling nostalgic, providing everything I’ve loved while somehow bringing something new to the table. It’s quick drum beats, unique guitar riffs and some seriously special use of the keyboards. I’ve been in love with the shy two-man band for 5 years now and could not be happier for their success. I will not hide my enthusiasm simply because they’ve become popular and there’s sure to be backlash. I’m sticking by them and strongly urge everyone to explore their earlier work. One of my favorite comedic artists lent his talents to spread the Black Keys greatness.

Their albums tell their own specific story by exploring with various melodies and tones, instrumental and lyrical themes, while weaving them all together with a single thread that is signature of the Black Keys. They evolve their sound while staying true to their essence. Give it all a go. If I were to encourage you to listen to a few, perhaps one from each album, I’d of course say listen to them all (I change my favorites depending on the day, the mood, what sounds and words I’m resonating with), find your own story within the album’s; but for right now, give Nobody But You, Heavy Soul, Have Love Will Travel, Everywhere I Go, When The Lights Go Out, You’re The One, Same Old Thing, The Only One and Sister a go. I just want to express how difficult that was. As I leafed through their amazing catalogue, I found it nearly impossible to choose just one song from each album. Each song is on it’s own planet, with Dan Auerbach’s lead vocals showcasing more than just a great rock range, he chooses a key for a reason and that reason is to better tell the story. The wise progression and combination of instruments makes their music a perfect package. You may want to check out Dearest, the excellent Buddy Holly cover, and Dan’s solo album, Keep it Hid is a densely rich album with a slew of favorites as well. Check out Heartbroken, In Disrepair. And last thing, one of the most beautiful songs I’ve ever heard is from their album Rubber Factory. It's called The Lengths. It was the first song I ever wrote about. I’ve heard it hundreds of times and never tire, my heart wants more. I hope you love any of these half as much as I do, because I know you’ll feel the transformative effects great music can provide. Being a human being is awesome!

I don’t know how it happened but somehow I managed to gather a significant number of very talented friends, who also have talented friends, so like a bunch of hippies we just gather and have artistic conversations and I get to be wowed on a consistent basis by the limitless potential of the people around me. At times, I feel insecure and unworthy, like I should be relegated to another room where I just listen but don’t actually participate with those who are clearly on a different plane. It’s because most of them are artists and that’s a difficult word for me to attach to myself, regardless if I feel creative, I cannot give myself that descriptor, but I’m opening to it. They never make me feel like I don’t belong, which is a credit to their hearts and their inherent generosity, so I figure the least I can do is express my awe, my admiration, respect, enthusiasm and Love the best way I can, through a rambling selection of words. My roommates, who happen to be my brother and my husband, both are aspiring cinematographers, geeking out over lighting and shots in ways I cannot even comprehend, but I love watching their passion and seeing them work together. The videos provided above include a collaboration of their skills and artistry with our ingenious friends. They recently were members of a small crew helping to make a music video with another up-and-coming group of musicians, Secret Colours, on their gut punching rock song Faust.

It begins with a low, quick bass riff, and quiet lyrics, almost whispering, lurking, preying, like a tiger slowly approaching it’s dinner. Then, in a flash of musical brilliance, the base goes to 11, instruments in fast forward, pulling you deep into the moment, into the reality of the song. It moves like moments in life, fragments of stillness, waiting, approaching, and then bam, you’re in it, no escape, just ride it out. According to legend, Faust is a scholar who sells his soul to the devil, in exchange for knowledge and power. A befitting metaphor for any era in humanity, Secret Colours builds their rock anthem beautifully, with gripping lyrics, music that drives the story and punches it up in the right moments. This song has been on a short list of songs providing the soundtrack to my life at the moment. I certainly recognize moments where I have and occasionally still feel faustian, but mainly I’m just drawn to this sound. I liked the song immediately, from one second in, with the first bar I said yes, I want to hear more. When I learned my bro and hub were working on their video, my excitement shot through the roof and I knew I had to do my best to share this beautifully combined gift. The crew busted their balls, shooting into the early, freezing Chicago morning, and outside in the cold dark of night (sounds like a corny line from a screenplay, apologies), then going back to earning a modest income to support their passion until they hopefully reap some fruits of their labor. It certainly is a labor of love, and they all deserve and have earned this success. I hope it continues to grow for all of them. Enjoy the video, if you like it, share it! And feel free to pass along recommendations to me, that’s how most brilliant works of art have come my way. I’m grateful, keep it coming.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9Op-i0MRSI

The last song I’m choosing to share as the year approaches it’s dissolution is another tune I liked immediately, within seconds, and after just one listen it stuck, permanently weaved into the fabric of my being and onto the script in my brain. This song affects me in the most profound way. It conjures and inspires primal instincts, making me hungry, thirsty, lustful, provoking a different breath, internal swelling and movement, and one of few that reminds me how I prefer to love and be loved, with reckless abandon, raw, cut open, prepared to bleed out forever. That may sound a bit twisted, but if you ignore propriety and how society relentlessly tells us to behave, and instead turn the focus inward, respond instinctually, combining our very advanced left and right hemispheres to operate with thoughtful passion, organized enthusiasm and pure, unadulterated Love, everything will feel much more sensual, natural and heightened. Often the world diminishes the importance of satisfying these intense urges, telling us our bodies are dirty, our minds are sick, and reason always supersedes impulse. When it comes to potentially hurting others, these rules are important and should be heeded, but when we’re deeply entrenched in moments where following the instincts and/or the heart will benefit your soul, aid in your evolution, and we instead choose fear, perceiving judgment or ridicule, we lose. This song makes me want to run naked into the roaring ocean, passionately kiss regardless of the surroundings and satisfy any other urge or impulse my soul sees fit. The song is Future Starts Slow, by the Kills.

It starts with very rhythmic, tribal drums, activating the pelvis, eliciting dance, firing up the loins. Then, the hook, a sharp guitar riff, memorable, carving out your heart, the strings plucking somewhere deep in your being. Then simple, beautiful, intelligent lyrics fuck with your mind, tug at your soul.

You can holler You can wail You can swing You can flail You can thump like a broken sail But I’ll never give you up If I ever give you up My heart will surely fail

I swear I felt those lyrics just in listening to the music, from the beginning. It makes me close my eyes and sway, motion from the inside out. The song builds, slows, and just is perfection, rounding back to what I feel is a bold statement in support of Love, real love, strong loving between two exquisitely primal beings.

You can holler You can wail You can blow what’s left of my right mind

You can swing You can flail You can blow what’s left of my right mind

Um, yes please. Destroy me with who you are, in every way imaginable, by giving me your genuine self, to the core, in this moment with me. I don’t need your flowers, your greeting cards, or your modern expression of romanticism in front of others. I need passion, laughter, hunger, encouragement and release, in however that manifests in our present. All I want is You.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiLjuRG3hoE&ob=av2n

Sometimes music just makes me want to dance, smile, cry, and any myriad of actions and feelings on the emotional spectrum, from superficial to deep. Music, and most forms of art are expressions of truth, and if something resonates with you, then that’s clearly your truth in that moment. Thinking back to the art I loved as a child and re-living my artistic choices, both in experience and expression, it tells my unique story, giving me a time-line of emotion and thought for phases of my life. How those previous emotional attachments evolve is interesting to observe. Songs that used to make me sad, now make me cry from gratitude and the recognition of change within and without. Some just feel the damn same, clusters of happiness I repeatedly expose myself to and yearn to share with others. Whatever the reason, feel it, and if you feel it’s worth while, share it, whether you’re listening, viewing, tasting, smelling, feeling, reading or some combination of it all.

Absorb. Process. Express. Experience. Thank you.

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For the love of Yoga

I used to feel that life was very black and white, and to be strong in your convictions was important; therefore, you must choose one or the other. Through life experiences, exposure and absorption of provocative art, cerebral and esoteric conversations and the down and dirty practice of Yoga, I’ve not only become more comfortable with gray, but I’m now embracing contradiction, the existence of hypocrisy and the potential for relating and understanding many angles to arguments and the endless spectrum in which people live their lives. There are some key issues that haven’t changed, they’ve probably deepened, but for the most part I’m becoming more comfortable in the unknown, in the ambiguity of life. And I’m grateful. It is deeply mystifying to explore the duality of life. Being a student and teacher of Yoga, a practice meant to be inclusive, gathering, welcoming, awareness driven but never preachy, enlightenment as intention with emphasis on lessons to be gleaned from darkness and suffering, has nailed down what is really important, and diminished the weight of what is not. It resonates and elevates beyond the confines of the mat. It has taught me to radiate Yoga out and in turn, harness it deeper within. This is all very granola, somewhat cliché hippy dippy talk. I’m fine with that. My delving into the practice led me toward explorations and relationships that now make me better and my form of expression is words. Words are meaningless, but they’re all I have. I cannot paint (my art teacher made fun of me, seriously). I do not sing (to others, you’re welcome for that). I love to dance but do not have the lifelong acquired skill to express my feelings and interpret for others to enjoy, except in the creation of my vinyasa sequences. I cannot operate a camera with more than 5 settings (I leave that to the very talented and skilled men in my life). For me, I feel strong when I share, in teaching and in scribing, speaking and corresponding. I’ve been crippled by excessive self-awareness, questioning my skills, whether anyone would want to listen or read, and similar to excessive confidence and the lack of self-awareness, each are driven by the ego, by fear. Yoga shines a light on the ego’s dark existence, bringing in an awareness that slowly dissolves fear and a presence in which the ego simply cannot survive. I’ve slowly gotten over myself, not thinking of myself as great, but also not thinking of myself as inadequate. I am perfectly adequate, and so are you. I care, deeply, for people and for my life to have meaning, to feel effectual and align the external with the internal. Again, duality.

Below started as a game of wordplay, of antonyms, of complexity, and of analyzing the meaning of Yoga, both literally and figuratively. Yoga’s root word is yolk, meaning union, the roots being the union of unconscious and conscious, horizontal and vertical, mortality and divinity. What arrived after a long, run-on sentence, was somewhat of an interesting poem, and keeping in line with everything Yoga has extracted and taught, I thought instead of hoarding it, fearing its unworthiness and doubting its purpose, why not share in something many of us already love, a truth you already know, and share with some who may not have felt the magic of Yoga yet, but perhaps you can relate in your own way. We all can be yogic, being able to touch your toes or twist into a pretzel has very little to do with the intended results. Some of the most beautiful yogis in my life either cannot or do not practice what we’d all assume to be this ancient practice. It has proven benefits for your mind, body and soul, brings a deeper appreciation of this very second, eliminates psychological time, and fosters a very supportive and fun community.

I can only hope I’ve had a fraction of the impact on my students as they’ve had on me. My persistent goal is to keep learning. We’re never finished, treating the means as the end makes the end unpredictably sweeter and the journey exponentially more potent and alive. I’m no longer anxious for what tomorrow will bring or incessantly focused on having a plan. I’m embracing presence as a priority and allowing the path to unfold before my eyes. I’ve recognized I do not have all the answers and I do not need them, I’m open and willing to learn them as I’m exposed, being kinder to myself and reverberating that to my world, hoping it’s boundless. I wish for not only the people I love, but also the people so wrecked with pain, those I still do not understand, and those I’ll never meet, to find their own yogic truth. Who you are is beautiful, give fear and your ego a big middle finger. Give yourself the gift of yoga.

Shanti (peace) and Namaste (I see you, the light in me acknowledges, respects, the light in you.).

Union Symbiosis Mind and body Human and mat Ego and essence Time versus presence Self doubt and confidence Fear and passion Art and skill Strength and flexibility Inhaling and exhaling Rooting down and rising up Succeeding and failing Contentment and insatiability Stamina and Stillness Energy high and energy low Sun and snow Hatha and flow Knowing and unknown Yin and Yang Human and Being We’re all the same