Viewing entries tagged
being a woman

Living with Two X Chromosomes

Being a woman sure is interesting. It comes with a huge set of advantages and disadvantages, right off the gate. Because of evolution’s (science, not magic) handy work I’ve been equipped with a startling strength inside, a strength that has equipped me to grow human life, expel it throw a much smaller hole when the time is right, and then repair itself to do it all over again. And because my body has been designed to carry out this biological imperative, it also means I naturally carry more fat and less muscle than my beloved males. So, by virtue of nature I am “weaker” physically on an external level. I can lift, push, pull, carry and destroy less. I cannot help this. I wish I could. I simply cannot, nor do I care to. I’m not trying to win any contests or beat out someone else for some barbaric prize, but what my body can endure inside, kicks the shit out of any man’s ability to pick up a heavy box. I’m not bitter. I hope the tone above doesn’t reflect otherwise. I just wrote a piece on why I love men. And their innate physical strength is a reason. I’m very grateful for them. What I resent for me and my ladies is this existence-long notion that we are overall weaker just because we carry less physical brawn and power. Fuck that. This asshole notion alone is why we’ve seen systematic rebellion amongst women in all societies for years. It is perhaps a great reason for many modern women’s dominant approach to careers and relationships. “I’ll prove to you how strong I am, penis!” I don’t feel this personally, I genuinely enjoy equality, respect and appreciation for us all. Size up a person after you meet them, not before, or during. Individuals are weak, dishonest, lazy, dumb. Not entire groups. Not an entire species! And no one is strong, smart, ambitious or capable “for a woman.” They just are.

Fact of the matter is women are still second class citizens and slightly less than equal to their male counterparts in most countries, even the fancy pants countries like ours. It wasn’t long ago when a husband raping his wife was perfectly acceptable, down right expected. What else would we expect? We’re fulfilling an important role to this man and society, being a hole with which to stuff with spunk and babies. How honored those women should’ve felt, rather than violated, overpowered and abused by the man they were sentenced to live with for eternity. Shut up and take it, lady. Simply because we’re physically weaker and so sexually attractive to men, we’ve been relegated to a near prisoner status in society. Something in our seductive powers and inner strength rings threatening to many of the opposite sex, historically in particular.

Men then (and some now) have yet to realize that our mental capacity is no different. Sure, we have a different balance of hormones and specific functions to fulfill, but our ability to learn and apply knowledge, to think and feel for ourselves, and to yearn for complete autonomy and freedom is 100% equal. So, in most lines of work, it’s a clean slate. A man may be better than a woman at a specific job, and vice versa. Again, individually. A man, not men, may be better than a woman, not women. Recently a strong attempt was made to get a bill passed not simply enforcing equal pay, but at least expecting employers to provide sound reason as to the disparity in pay, ensuring it was not gender-based. Naturally, our 8% approved congress did not pass this bill. Seeing the unprecedented obstructionism our current president is experiencing from the Senate and House, I can only imagine how this same body of people would’ve treated Hillary Clinton. I wish strength and serenity for whatever woman takes that seat first. I certainly hope to see it in my lifetime.

There was an actual debate (amongst mostly men!) whether a young, intelligent woman lobbying for congress to cover her (and other women’s) birth control was a slut. We had to have this ridiculous discussion because a hypocritical, attention hungry, blowhard had no clue how birth control worked and clearly missed the variety of reasons why women take it. Let alone the fact that a woman may actually enjoy having sex before she’s married. Hold the fucking phone! What? No way. Stone her. Did you know that the clitoris has no other physical, biological function other than pleasure? It provides an orgasm for orgasms sake. Look it up. You are fooling yourself if you think a smart, reasonable woman would vote for a man who wants to legislate the use of her vagina. The only ones I know who would are so far gone they’re never coming back. And that’s a shame. Somewhere along the way they believed the man who taught them how to think, and they stopped thinking for themselves. You may vote for other reasons, but that could be any number of men I love trying to reduce my reproductive rights, and ultimately, my voice, and I would not vote for him.

51% of the population, how much of the power? How much of the vote? How many of the voices in power? Not nearly enough. Burnings bras, being sexually rebellious, being a naggy wife or girlfriend, these methods don’t work! We have to walk the walk, vote with our wallets, our ballots and our day-to-day choices. Surround yourself with people who sincerely respect other human beings, don’t give a shit who they love or how they love, and most important, don’t enforce their whackadoo beliefs on someone who lives an entire existence different from them. I do not have a penis and therefore, it is not my business what one does with theirs, and perhaps I should take pause when throwing all men into a box because I clearly don’t have a clue what it’s like to be one. And I don’t care how well read, researched and reasoned you are as a man, you don’t have one iota of credit when it comes to my experience as a woman living today. So keep your beliefs inside and don’t waste your energy worrying about whether someone was legitimately raped or just slightly raped. Seriously??? They’re the same fucking thing. Rape is rape. Most men will never understand the sheer vulnerability in being a woman, so until you do, kindly smile and nod.

Now, I recognize and am grateful to be a Western woman in 2012. I don’t let these issues affect my day-to-day life and happiness, but I’ve come to also expect certain behaviors from men without allowing it to send me into the extreme feminist arena. My ass has been grabbed, my hair has been pet, I’ve been followed on foot and in a car, been harassed verbally, and all of these things continue to happen. I can no longer be upset, I must accept. Anytime in the past when I’ve been disturbed by these occurrences, I receive mainly the same responses, “That’s just how some men are.” Oooookkkaayyyy??? Bend over and take it, bitch. If it crosses a major line, of course I’d call the cops, or call one of my loyal men to save me (because I’m too weak to save myself), but mostly I just accept, brush it off. I let it have little effect on me, because screw them. I’m responsible for my feelings of power, freedom and contentment, no one else.

I’ve just come to realize there are proportions of human beings, like men who are disrespectful or vile to women, and like women who are gold-diggers, that television and media like to showcase; but their numbers aren’t reflective of society as a whole. I’ve met mostly good men and women thus far. Even those who’ve disappointed me were just crappy human beings at the time. They weren’t sexist. I would really love to take a leap beyond our complacency, beyond our lazy acceptance of pervasive inequality and make a small leap into the future. I’d like the voices we hear to be logical, respectful and reflective of the masses and not the fringe. I don’t care what the owner of Chic fil-A believes. He’s afraid of an invisible man in the sky, who knows what place he feels women belong in?

We could easily come into a consensus as a nation: Men and woman are equal, it’s not our business who others love, what they do with their bodies, or how they pursue happiness. We should all be born equal and free, liberated and welcomed to live how we choose, so long as we cause no harm to others. Pipe dream. Just because we don’t agree on a very complicated tax code doesn’t mean we can’t agree on these fundamental principles that make life easier to live. Come on, people.

Leave my vagina alone. We’re happy just as we are.

Danielle Robinson Yoga teacher/ Writer You, Me and Yoga Makes 3 on Facebook Follow: @mastic8onthis on Twitter